I'm so cold.
I haven't got any work done.
The numbers in front of me are telling me I haven't eaten enough.
But once they're in my head I've eaten too much.

My friend told me that she had noticed. That she'd seen the drastic weight loss and that she was worried. She said that when we did the cake stall and she was telling me to eat a cake it was because I was so dizzy and she was worried.

I don't know what to think about that. I mean, part of me...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of building confidence and self esteem in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EST), and the third will be held at 8pm Pacific US...

Threw up for the first time after eating over new year. Only a tiny bit but now I know I can.

Shit. How the hell did things get this bad.

Right now I'm fighting the urge to go throw up. I ate ages ago, it's not even about getting food out. It's about punishing myself. Because I hate myself.

I have no idea how this happened. I feel worthless.

My best friend of over 10 years came to town for Christmas and New Year's. She leaves Saturday morning to go back to North Dakota, where she's attending college. It was my first time seeing her since summer, so I was very excited. I spent 2 days at her house, and yesterday she came over here. She just left this evening, but it was a painful goodbye. I love her to death, but with her in college we barely have time to speak anymore. She won't be back until summer.

I'm glad she was...

I deserve to be treated better. And, I can't wait 4 more years to get outta here. I admit, I have it pretty great material-wise. But, when you say that when you die of a stroke from you pushing yourself to work too much, that it's my fault and that I'm selfish. Wow. What if you killed over right then and there and then, I blamed myself for it for the rest of my life? You make me feel like shit. Nothing I ever do makes you happy. I almost died back in October. You didn't cry. You looked mad. You...

Grr... I wanna put some of my poetry on here and see what people think. But, I'm so paranoid that someone will steal my poems and take credit for them...

---Hey princess. So im hacking you since my phone was being stupid and idk if you got my text ._. So what I said was (Ugh I dont remember exactly, god im stupid ._.) I miss your smile, I miss your voice, I miss your cute laugh, your cute little accent and that adorable little girl voice you do that makes me smile like an idiot because its just the cutest thing I have ever heard(: I love you for...

Okay, so I'm gonna start posting a song everyday or so that relates to how I feel. Maybe write what's on my mind. Haha RANTING... possibly.


...

Why is it that life must be so stressful?
Is it just part of our goal for survival in a modern world?
Life throws various obstacles at us and it is up to us on how we deal with them. Some deal with them better than others of course. That is easily seen. Some people are put in situations where they can be killed, and their choices to what they are faced with is the cause of this. Whereas other people are put directly in these situations and they just happen to be in the cross fire....

I suck at it. Haha.