I feel like I can't hold on any longer, I'm just slipping more and more everytime my parents insult me or hurt me or critise me.
I don't know what to do , I've been told to move out because I said that i was fed up with the way they treated me. I hate the way the push me so hard, they told me off the other day for getting a B in an essay.

I don't think I can hold on for much longer, I'm breaking and I don't think I can get through it this time..

This might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it is to me. As I've said on this site before, I love Japanese culture, art, architecture, animation, pretty much everything Japanese in general. Well, my aunt got me a bento box for Christmas. A bento box is like a Japanese lunchbox, but the contents can get pretty artistic. In Japan, bento lunches are either very simple, or very complex. Since I'm a beginner, I'm starting simple.

I'm making a special Japanese bento lunch for...

Been so dippy today.....
Just completely out of it......
Probably will get lost tomorrow...
My friend was the same and we're hopeless on our own together.
It shall be fun when the police come and drive us home... All 3 hours of it from Hull.
I think I'm sleepy

Yep, we've been planning it for a while, and finally it is coming together.

I'm going to live with my big sleepy bear, Jon. Things have gotten so much easier. Jon's mom suggested something we hadn't thought of before. Jon has an older brother who rents a small house. A 2 bedroom place, with affordable rent. We're talking to him about moving in with him. He's almost never home so we'd have privacy, the unused room is huge so there's plenty of room for my things and Jon's, and we...

Every one I see here and there have so much laughter and smiles in their faces and voices.
Why can't I have it?
I try really hard to be happy.
I'm labeled and known as the "crazy" girl at my school...my whole town. I am known to switch personalities in an istant. I am known to have anger issues. I am known as the smart girl everyone copies off of. I am known as the girl who will give in to anything you ask for. I am known for being gullible and vunarable. I am known...

Many ask of me, why I am here. I do not answer, for that simple act would destroy my purpose. Some believe that I was sent to them, and others believe that I have sent myself. I am the word that has infinite meanings, I am the implication of nothing. Some people ask, 'what contains the void?' I do not tell them. Nor do I wish for them to know, although I do not prevent it. I am a hundred minds, a thousand thoughts, a multifaceted enigma of separate identities. Some ask why, others ask why not. They...

I'm going to fail these exams tommorrow and dissapoint my parents as usual.
I try so hard to please them, to make them proud, but i'm too stupid, I'm just not good enough.

I don't know what i'm going to do anymore. cut cut cut.... >_<

I try coming out to my mom today. Know what she says? Pretty much stuff along the lines of: "Who's a lesbian making you want to be one? You want to be everything you read. Start thinking with your own mind for once, if you think you're a lesbian you really do have problems."
I KNEW she was going to say that, I just KNEW that. Everything is a game to her, my self harm, suicidal thoughts. You know what? I don't fucking KNOW why I feel so bad all the time, I really DON'T. And by...

I've waited so long for someone to say that to me. I met with Fiona (course tutor) and Susie (student support worker) today for a "Progress Review". We talked about what I'd done, what I still had to hand in, and what I needed to do.
As of now I need to:

1. Make a workbook with inspirations and explanations for my graphic design class.
2. Make the poster for my graphic design class and hand it in.
3. Hand in my user interface design images and do the writing part of them for

...

Urgh, I'm so stupid, I need to learn to stop apologising , I need to stop being so pathetic.

I just can't help it, I apologise so much to my parents, i'm just used to it. It's becuase i'm a disappointment and failure to everyone and i'm sorry to everyone for that,

I hate myself, I want to make people proud, mainly my parents. I want them to stop critising me, I want everything to be okay...

I don't even know what the point of this is, it jsut shows how pathetic...