God I've been so depressing lately. My blogs are miserable. I had no one I could speak to about any of it so I guess this was the only place I had. It's different now. A girl I met in college over a year ago and who I've talked to a fair bit since then has been so amazing. She's texted me everyday, asking how I'm doing. Listening to me whine about being alone, not giving up on me and keeping me here. I can't thank her enough for that.
I spent a few hours with her on Saturday, my parents were...

Don't want to go to school.
Don't make me go.
Already cut over it.
Need to cut again.
Need to cut so so bad.
So humiliating.
Everyone there hates me.
Everyone laughs at me.
I'M NOT A FREAK!
Well... I am.. I'm the biggest freak there is.
I just want to fit in.
I just want people to like me.
I hate me though, so why wouldn't others?
Might as well die... Only 1 thing to live for, that's not enough...

Not looking forward to school, I feel so ill I knew I shouldn't have taken those pills, but I needed it >_<
Got a long day and I'm going to be alone for all of it, no one cares, people don't notice, I don't know why I'm still trying to do this.

I don't even know why i even try. As soon as i start feeling better something happens and ruins it. Im feeling so low today. Sat on my bed and been online. Stuffed my face with food. I feel so sick now.

I have to go back to school tomorrow. Im scared of going because we have had evacuations and lockdowns, im afraid it will happen again. And someone will be hurt.

I'm not ready for all the awful things people have to say. I don't know if i'll be able to take it. ...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of overcoming communication problems in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held at 8pm...

So I keep thinking I should design myself a signature. Just, you know, so people can see how awesomely talented I am. And stuff like that. But I'm lazy, and I lost the cord that connects my phone to my laptop, and I'm not to great at using my iPod camera yet. I kind of wish I knew where the cellphone cable was, so I could put it back where it belongs - on my computer desk.

I've been considering drawing and painting. I haven't actually done anything yet (it's been a few months since...

I'm so utterly exhausted. Spent the night crying and drinking and taking pills. Woke up this morning and was sick. That was gross considering the last thing I ate involved rice.

I ended up spending most of the day sleeping it off, and I still feel wrecked. I'm staying up to watch the new Lip Service and then I'm just going to crash and sleep some more. I'm not sure if it's related or not, but I keep getting hiccups and it's driving me round the bend. And I have no idea how to stop...

Pills. I think i'll just take them and end this all. i can't take this shit anymore

If you're thinking of killing yourself, please read this - a suicide survivor's story.
Source: Suicide Awareness Voices of Education SAVE

COMPLETE
This message is for those of you who are thinking about killing yourselves.

Like you, I did not really want to kill myself. I just wanted the overwhelming pain to stop. It felt like I was having a 24 hour anxiety attack. I could not concentrate. I was obsessing on fearful thoughts and feelings. My adrenalin...

The worst feeling in the world is when you reach out to someone and get ignored.*
I really don't think I can take much longer. My head is screaming at me.*
I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. I need you so badly but I can't be rejected again do I guess I just have to keep pretending. Keep reliving everything. Keep struggling alone.*
I hurt all over but that's nothing compared to the things going on in my head.
I wish I was strong. I wish I could reach out to...