I'm so tired of initiating conversations. I'm through with trying. What's the point? My "friends" don't bother with me they make pathetic excuses just to avoid spending time with me. *I just don't understand what's so wrong with me. I try to be polite. I never ever let anyone know I'm struggling. I listen and try to talk to people yet no one has time for me. I wish I knew why but all I know is I'm not going to bother anymore. What's the point in mindless talk when it just gets thrown back...

Help help help help... Help me

Please, I can't fight any longer :/

When you've lost weight! Wooo! Even cooler because I really haven't been doing anything, so it must be something in the way I'm eating - which also doesn't make sense because my eating and sleeping are all over the place at the moment. Still, I'm not complaining.

It wasn't a large amount of weight. And I can't say how much due to the rules about posting weight numbers. But I was surprised and pleased.

How did this come about?

I decided to weigh my cat...

So I rang WINZ. They're sending me out an application for invalid's benefit and I have an appointment next Friday. I need to wash my gym shirt and write a resignation letter, and take it in either tomorrow or Monday. I think tomorrow would be best but I don't know if I'll be able to access the washing machine in a timely manner.

So in a few weeks (three at most) all those loose ends will be tied up, and I'll either be on the Invalid's benefit, or they'll decline it and I'll stay on...

I've been so happy for the last few days, idon't know why i'mstruggljng again.
I feel like I'm going to fall apart but I know I have to be strong.

I don't think I can do this
I need you but I'm scared to ask...

So here's the deal - at the beginning of last year, 2011, after a very messy break-up with my partner, a couple of things happened. First, I got a full-time job. Second, I realised I was losing weight. And third, I had a boyfriend who was really more of a fuckbuddy - he was good to me though and he was lots of fun to be with. So all was going well, I guess. Then I got told I had to work two 6-day weeks of 12-hr shifts, 5am-5pm. I didn't get told I was being paid overtime, so I thought I was just...

She beautiful and amazing and makes me laugh xD

This is the first time i've been this happy in ages

For once i've woken up happy today, ready to face the day. Whether having triple maths and double history will change that i don't know, but oh well xD

That one person that makes everything so much better with just a few words.

Can't stop smiling xD

I have temporarily rediscovered my RuneScape mojo (not sure how long it will last) and am using it to try and get over level 70 in everything. One more thieving level, 9 construction levels, 12 runecrafting levels, and 13 dungeoneering levels . . . I wonder if I'll manage it before I get bored again. Who knows?

I went to gym yesterday, had a discussion with my manager. Because I hadn't been for like, 6 weeks, and hadn't contacted them (oops) the committee saw me as abandoning my...

So today wasn't as bad as I predicted..
Until I got home.
Cut like I used to cut... And it felt goooood...
Mother can go die...
I don't want to eat chips, I don't want to get fatter!
I've decided I don't want to stop cutting!
It makes me happy! So why the hell should I take that away from myself?