Right now I totally don't understand other people's pain. Well I do, sort of, but it's purely in a logical way, I just don't get how they can't put it to the side and move past it. Maybe it's just how I'm thinking right now. Or maybe my mind is superhuman and I no longer have any pain that requires dealing with. Either way.

I went for a walk last night at about half past midnight, was gone for about an hour, did 7,500 steps in that time. Most of it barefoot, because it was raining,...

Urghhh chest pains, headache, breathing hurts. Why am I alway ill lately, it's so annoying.
Going out with friends in a bit, not even sure if I want to go, don't know if they actually want me there. It's probably easier to stay at home by myself..

I can't really explain how i feel, but i'm going to try.

I feel on the verge of bursting into tears, and yet in a "i dont give a fuck" mood...I talked to one of my friends i hadn't stayed in touch with last night over FB. I thought she had quit cutting, especially since she was inpatient for a while, but i was wrong...

Today me and E had an arguement..partly because im so extremely emotional all of the time, and he ran out of meds (schizophrenia...

I don't know where to start? ugh. i want this to end. All of this pain, this stupidity. I wanna watch my blood flow out of my body, into a tub of water, and watch the water turn pink with my beautiful blood.
just..make it stop. I want to die, i want to be peaceful and relaxed and not stressed out or relapsing or self-harming or crying or anything thing else. I want to die. it's not that hard..i could just find some pills and take a hand-ful of them. make sure i write a suicide...

So as some of you may know, my parents have informed my little brother and I that we will probably move this summer. We may or may not stay in the same school district. (I'm a freshman in highschool).
Today i had a major realization that in a day and a half, school will end for the year, and i will probably not see my favorite people ever again. it was very very..depressing. I also realized today that i should probably not read so many self-harm threads because as the pre-fix says,...

Everythings so lonely, everything just screams at me and proves how alone I am. I guess it doesnt matter if people don't read this, I don't know why people would.. It's stupid it doesn't matter.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately, so down all of the time.
I can't see myself here for much longer, I just can't. :/

Hang. I was going to post an entry, then I'm like, it's 1:50am, so actually, I'm going to bed. And if I get bored enough in the near future, I might post an entry then.

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I got another phone call and a skype invite from the people harassing me. Nothing is happening, I'm not picking up, I haven't received more messages, aside from a couple of voice mails I can't listen to because I have no credit, and I didn't accept the skype invite. But I can't deny I'm scared. I don't like it at all. My mum is talking about going to the police, but she wants more evidence first. I don't want more evidence. I want them to go away. :s

Their comments have been very...

Hey you guys. So this is my first post in my blog, and I thought i would tell you more about me.

So my name is Paula :3, my favorite color is indigo (blueish purple), my current boyfriend is to be known on here as E, and i love music.

So today was an alright day i guess /: After lunch (i'm in high school, btw) i was in math class, and i was really depressed and was having some suicidal thoughts. && then i found a rubber band and snapped the rubber band...