After a few weeks, you sort of forget the rush. The insane feeling of, I'm so amazing, that I can hurt myself, and even though I feel the pain (because I don't dissociate), it's nothing. It's like, it's like being powerful. It's like being so in control that you even have control of your physiological responses to pain. Pain? Give it to me, I can handle it, because that is simply how awesome I am.

And the blood? Oh yeah, the blood. Strong enough and resilient enough that I can bleed,...

Having such a crappy few days, getting more and more ill, losing everyone close to me, i was supposed to go to a party last night but i couldn't face the people, the judging.

We're starting to look at unis and our personal statements tommorrow, i'm kind of excited. I can't wait to just get away from home, away from the people that hurt me so much :/

I would love to be able to tell people that their art work simply isn't that great, without being mean, or being a troll. I'd love to offer some constructive criticism, but I'm worried that if I do, it could either upset the OP or possibly upset mods.

The problem is, I have a private art-school education (part thereof, I dropped out due to stress.), and my standards for what constitutes "good" are therefore rather higher than others' standards might be. That's not to say...

I wait all day for the nighttime to come, and then it does, and slaps me in the face.
Mother fucker. -.-

I was struggling today, but managed to do okay. The minute the night hits, like I was waiting for, I loose control. It's so bad right now, I don't think its ever been this bad.

The urges. God the urges. I'm so close to slicing into this vein on my wrist that I can feel...

So I went out with my friend today, since I wanted to get out and had money (for once). Anyways, we were sitting down in the snack (... this place that can be expensive but serves enough fries in their small fries to feed two). And we come up to the conversation that I'm not totally sure if we should have had it in public, but whatever (I've made comments about a cute girl in front of people who are parents of my classmates, so whatever). And she tells me that she was wondering "Why George?"-...

This darkness, its overwhelming. I watch a figure skating show, and they're so beautiful..all I can think is "I'm so fat. Why can't I look like them?! Why?? I've always wanted to ice skate..but I'm too fat. God I just wanna cut this away."

God. I'm just sitting here. All alone, practically in tears.

I need to be happy. For the people I love. I cannot break down, I cannot die. I..MUST be happy.

But I don't want to be. I want to be in this...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of facing the challenges of growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held ...

Okies, first off: thermal socks. They're so delicious for my feets. I slept so well last night, purely because I was so ridiculously comfortable, which was purely due to my brand new purple thermal socks. It's been a couple of years since I had thermal socks, so these are quite nice. I mean, I've had fluffy socks, but not proper thermal ones. So it's really nice for my feetsies.

Olly said I coached really well today! I was happy, I had a little Jess-pride moment to myself. We basically...

Coldplay- Fix You
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high...

I just have to say, it has turned out totally worth posting that thread, just for the lulz!

I was stoned when I posted it, I don't actually believe Apple is evil (of course not, they're just makers of sexy, sexy products.), I just had a thought and wondered what would happen.

Turns out there are some people with strong opinions on that sort of thing. Who'd've thought. Definitely not me, I was surprised that the thread got even one reply.
So I've had my giggles...