I want to die.
Not just because I'm miserable, but because.I'm sad all the time and I have become a burden for everyone. And if I was dead, it would be a giant lift off of everyones shoulder.
I never wanted it to be like this.
I just want to be happy.
I don't think I ever gone at least two months without being happy. I've been angry. And even emotionless. But never happy for too long. It's...

It's wrong. So, so wrong.
Nolan is right. I am crazy. I do have crazy problems.
But it's not my fault. I know it isn't. If my mother didn't drink and do drugs while she was pregnant with me, maybe I could have been normal.
I. Could. Have. Been. Normal.
Then I would have friends. Lots of friends.
Or maybe I do have friends.
Their just not involved with Drama.
And that feels so good.
But I am not safe.
The kids in Drama hate me. They are all...

I'm not as low as I was yesterday. And I'm definitely not high. And I think I'm lower than "normal". So I guess - low. Just not as severely today. Which leads me to believe that the severity yesterday was reactive. Good to know.

I ate a whole pizza last night. I should feel bad about that, and I think under regular circumstances, I would . . . but I don't. I just . . . don't, which is kind of confusing. I'll probably feel totally shit when I weigh myself, but currently,...

Charge: Unlawfully takes motor vehicle
Plea: guilty (changed it, couldn't be bothered fighting my way through the court process)
Sentence: 80 hours community work, 12 months supervision with a court order to do personal skills counselling.

Well fuck that.
If they make me see somebody different through probation, I'm just not going to go. I'm already involved in mental health services, I shouldn't have to see extra services that are basically the same thing. ...

I need to get away from this away from the insults the screaming.

I know she's right, I'm pathetic and stupid and deserve it but I hate it, I don't need reminding constantly. My parents would do anything to get rid of me, I can't help being a failure a disappointment, I'm sorry.. :/

Goodbye..

That's right, today Jon graduated from high school with honors and with straight A's and B's all year. The cord on his neck represents 4 years of dedication to the ROTC program, in which he earned several ribbons, medals, and awards, and was also a flight captain. He also had many awards from the ROTC summer leadership school program, but he has strayed away from his plans to go into the military; instead he is going to study computer technology.

High school finished, so what's the...

I am trying so hard.
I really am. I'm not trying to sound selfish, but I am hanging in there for all dear life.
But, there are always people that need help. Those people on the forums talking about how they are so close to over dosing, or cutting again, or spiraling in their eating disorder, etc. I don't care if I die, or if I go back to my old habits, I just want to help them. They deserve it. But I am starting to realize that no matter what I tell them, or what advice I give them,...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 27 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #27 - June 16th 2012 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming events, short...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of LGBT, sexuality and gender identity in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held...

Without major incident, even. So . . . last appointment with Yvonne. I have no particular feeling about that, if I ever need to see a psychologist again, one will be provided. It's not a big thing for me, I didn't see her for very long so yeah.

I still have to see Judy regularly though. She's my keyworker and she's also a mental health nurse.

We discussed sleep and fast thoughts and stuff today. So they know now that I've been high for the last 2 - 3 weeks. I didn't...