I want to be able to say I'm happy, and actually mean it. I want to be able to eat a piece of cake, without crying or purging or anything else. I want to not keep finding ways to hurt myself. I slipped up, again. Found another blade, sliced my wrist open. It felt so..amazing. And yet I'm so ashamed. I can't stop wanting to hurt myself. I can't help that I just want to stop breathing, but I don't want to leave E.

I told E that I've only been half-ass trying to recover. I promised I...

I want to be happy.

Fuck this shit. I'm going to be happy.

I don't care about him. Let him do what he likes. I don't need him, I don't need the friends who aren't really friends and leave me for him and I don't need to listen to him.

I'm going back to school soon. And I'm going to get the best grades I can. I'm going to do writing. I'm going to apply for uni. I'm going to read good books. I'm going to go out with my friends. I'm going to get my ears pierced....

What a revelation, right? Not. My family and so forth were constantly blaming my on-going "poorness" and inability to pay bills on my poor budgeting skills. The truth is, you can only get your money to stretch so far - you can't create it out of nothing if you need it to make that one extra bill. You just end up in debt.

Now I'm getting more money. About double what I was getting before. Before, after my rent had been redirected, I got $86 a week. Now, after my rent's been...

Oh you want me to 'go die'? Oh okay that's cool I'm glad to know that you won't care... :/

Source: Notice | Contact Center.

Have you ever used TeenHelp's Contact Center? If not then you're really missing out! Unlike many organisations our contact page doesn't just give you a form to complete or basic contact details. What it does instead is show you where to go for a lot of issues that you might not otherwise be able to solve. If there's something you need to know or do, our Contact Center is a great place...

Set my alarm for sunrise, intending to get up and go for a run. You know what they say about the road to hell being paved with good intentions though . . . lol. Eventually dragged my ass out of bed at, get this, half past one in the afternoon. I thought it was still like eleven in the morning. So much for that. So yeah, I didn't go for a run. I'm a little disappointed in myself, but not too much, because what I really feel like doing today (aside from eating and smoking) is playing RuneScape....

The title says it all. As much as I love Live Help, I just don't have the amount of time it takes to do it properly. But I love Help Link too so all is gooooood.

Watched Doctor Who today. It was very exciting. There are going to be dinosaurs in this series. Yay.

Also spent half the day with a girl I like. She's not interested in me, but she's a great friend. It's kinda bittersweet, but I love her being my friend.

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of facing the challenges of growing up in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will...

I mean seriously. My cat does it, Sam's cat does it. You'll just be sitting somewhere in a quiet house, and suddenly hear the sound of a cat lapping water . . . coming to your ears via soundwaves being transmitted from the bathroom. Now, I know from various T.V. shows that toilet water isn't that dirty (unless you've recently pissed in it and not flushed), and that cats are sensible and don't drink things that will make them sick. Although my cat's a bit of an idiot, and he still eats Cheeky's meat...

I don't even know. Ever since a few days before school started I've been feeling depressed, or maybe anxious, or a bit of both again. I don't really want to do work or accept the new changes and personally I find everything kind of hellish right now. The classes, some of the people, everything. I sat there in class yesterday and randomly felt like crying and there have been times where I have felt that pressure in my chest, that sad-scared feeling in my heart.

I'm tired, but I'm never...