So I had dinner. Early, but hey, it felt like the right time. 2x cups of broccoli & cauliflower medley (it's what the packet says, I swear), 1x cup of mixed vegetables (peas, carrots, corn beans), 2x slices of bacon. Was. Excellent. I am awesome.

And so far today I have:
-visited probation (and bugged my probation officer for an hour, who is worried about my being high)
-visited New World and bought more junk food
-cooked dinner
-did the few dishes...

I messed up I cut myself alot tonight. I feel so guilty. I have so much going on right now I don't even know how to put it into words all i know is im scared i might not make it through tonight without doing it again.

i think everyone deserves to know the real me so here i go this will be totally honest no lies.
My name is Chantelle i am 16 i am currently struggling with anorexia SH and suicidal thoughts. I meet with a theripist and my guidance counsellor 3 times a week I dont remember the last time I was truly happy. when I say im Fine or im okay the truth is im not i am breaking slowly i have been taking it second by second for the longest time. I hate myself I wish i was never born. I cry myself to sleep...

I feel like a horrible person who should just dissapear I lied to everyone on here i dont understand why everyone is being so nice I dont deserve it I deserve to be hated like I hate myself. I just feel so bad. I have so many things going on right now Im scared if I tell someone they wont believe me. Im a horrible person who everyone should hate. I know what I did was horrible. My world is crashing down I feel so sad i dont know how much longer I can take all this. I dont remember the last time...

So I went to bed at about midnight last night. I slept maybe 4 hours total in all the sleeping I did. Problem is, I feel physically ill - like I need to vomit. I haven't vomitted, but I'll feel better once I do.

So my mental state and how I feel physically at the moment are completely at odds with each other. It's pissing me off. If I don't start to feel better physically soon (because mentally I still feel pretty good), I'm going to go to the doctor. It's possible that I'm anaemic...

Source: Newsletter | Issue 30 | If you would like to receive the full quality HTML version via email please sign up.


TeenHelp Newsletter #30 - September 15th 2012 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, work with our partners and affiliates, details of upcoming...

Here's why: it's already three and a half hours into Sunday. I have yet to shower and go to bed, and probably won't for another hour or more. HOWEVER, Sunday evening, I MUST be in bed by 10:00pm, in order to get up at 5:30am for work on Monday. (Like my casual job, don't want to fuck it up.)

So Sunday, is most likely, going to be a very weirdly short day. And Sunday night, no matter if I sleep or not, I'll be in bed, at least trying. And probably failing but at least I will have given...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of building confidence and self-esteem in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (BST), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will...

There's no such thing as exhaustion at this point of the mood spectrum it seems although I have caught my arms/hands shaking a few times - I think that might be a blood sugar thing, because I keep forgetting to EAT. Not because I'm not hungry (I still get hungry) but because my mind is distracted and basically elsewhere. And then I though about what I ate yesterday, and it didn't sound like much.

So after I went for that 17km walk (having eaten only a topper before leaving), I...

Firstly I think I owe you guys an apology. It feels like I've been gone forever. So I guess this is a quick blog just to update you all.

I first took a break from the internet and everything as exams were proving to be very stressful and everything was getting on top of me. Anyway I kinda liked the solitude and it felt like it was what I deserve to fight this hell alone, After exams I guess at first it was curiosity that prevented me reaching out or coming online. I stopped using...