So, I have offically started my blog. I am new to all of this, but I figured if others read this, they could either learn something, or be able to give advice, so why not. Yesterday was pretty stressful for me, and the baby. Jordan and I had gotten in to a huge fight, and I thought I was going to end up being kicked out, but after awhile, we both calmed down, and made up. I hate it when we fight, and I fear, that if we don't pull this together when the baby comes, we might be fighting in front of...

I guess I will make a quick run down of everything that has happend up to this point. My name is Danielle, I'm 17 years old, a senior in highschool, and I'm soon to be a teen mom. The first person to honestly know was my big sister Heaven. She helped me buy a test and she read it after I had taken it, being as she has already had 3 kids, her first at 16, she didn't do the typical yelling, but she did give me and my boyfriend Jordan "The talk about pregnancy" I was pretty odd hearing it...

Can i get even 2 days of being happy. i was fine for yesterday. But then today 1 bad thing happens and i feel like complete crap. One thing that most people wouldn't start crying about. I hate this. Hate all of this.

The thing that made me feel awful was 1 person yelling at me. Me and my mother were at a birthday party for her best friends daughter. There was a bunch of kids, i had to watch them all. On of them was driving me crazy, i think his name was Mario. I asked him how old...

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well i missed my bus to school this morning cause I slept in and then I had 7 minutes from the time i got up to eat get dressed and stuff to catch my bus. then I fell down the stairs and got a nose bleed. I am just having a shitty day. I found out i have a math test today which i completly forgot about. today has sucked and it is not even noon yet. I am just at my wits end oh yeah and I also forgot my lunch, and homework assignment for math. and I got mad at someone my guidance counsellor and swore...

Ugh. My computer is messing up even worse now. I can't access deviantart anymore, which was very important. It's more than a place for me to look at artwork, I get some good inspiration from there, along with a few ideas for some references for practice.

Practice. Ugh...practicing is tough without some anatomy visuals. I'm about to strangle my anatomy models, I swear. "Can take any pose the human body takes" my ass. They're helpful, but only to an extent. At this rate I'm...

I almost OD last night I wanted to do it so much and i still want to. I have so much going on right now I dont know how to handle it all anymore. killing myself seems like the only way out at the moment. I left history this morning in tears. my guidance counsellor saw me so we rescheduled my appt for today. I might just do it tonite. I just feel so lost so broken hurt worthless and so many other emotions. I just dont know what to do anymore

I am at rock bottom. I need to go cut i...

I'm going to respite on Kolmar Road this afternoon. I've never been there before. I don't know what to expect. Is this too little too late? Am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to behave? Will I end up in hospital again? Will it help? Will I feel better? It's a massive pile of I don't know.

Phones are freaking me out. I was good and attended my supervision appointment though. Caleb was nice to me. I like people who are nice to me. Sometimes it makes things a lot harder but I'd...

I went to see my keyworker, which is probably the smartest decision I've made in days.

I still feel awful and horrible but now it's just the depression doing its . . . thang.

Jens said he saw my whiteboard. He said it was good. I don't know what he meant by "good". Maybe it explained well. Maybe it made sense. I don't know. But I suppose it's positive if a doctor sees your messy-thoughts whiteboard and describes it as "good".

Because...

Hurting myself is my addicition, like any other one. I’ve never done drugs, or drank alcohol or anything like that, but I still can’t stop hurting myself. If it’s not my eating disorder, then its cutting, depression, or it’s something else entirely. Not giving a shit about life, pushing the people I love away, isolation, whatever, I just can’t stop harming myself in one way or another. It’s been this way as long as I can remember…I literally HATE myself. Yes, hate is a strong word, and I mean almost...