Having such a bad time lately, family and friends stressing me out. no one talks to me properly anymore, it's either to have a go at me or moan about someone or something.

I feel so alone and worthless

People say i'm strong but i know i'm not, I'm breaking but no ones around to notice

Well, it's very broken sleep, and I'm tired all day. I've been having afternoon naps, where I fall asleep just enough to have those weird dreams where you're not entirely sure if you're dreaming or not (my mind likes to tell me I'm in different houses, for some reason), and then you wake up. Gives me maybe an hour extra sleep on top of what I'm getting at night, and I have no idea how much that is, I just know I wake up a lot.

I saw my probation officer today. She didn't ask many...

I'm not strong enough, it's too hard.
I really need this, I don't think tonight is going to be a good one :/

Stupid stupid stupid, need this

So, the nights have cooled down somewhat (think 17 - 20 degrees instead of 21 - 24 degrees), and I've actually been sleeping. Admittedly it's very broken sleep, but it's a hell of a lot better than not sleeping at all. Last night was also one of those nights with too hot, too cold, and so forth - my flatmate had the same problem so it was definitely the weather and not just me.

My left arm really aches. Yesterday whilst fetching a drawing pin to hang my new calendar, I happened to...

alright, well lately i've been feeling more worthless than usual and it's really starting to take it's toll.

my aunty has been more and dissapointed in me because this isn't my last year of highschool and although it should be, it isn't. its just been so hard this year

my grandpa passed away over the summer and that really threw my whole family through a loop, especially my aunty.

my grandpa was the chief of our band, he managed the whole entire reservation...

Congratulate me, I haven't been arrested or detained or had any contact with the police.

I went for a walk last night, but bearing in mind that I want my license back, I deliberately didn't do anything to get noticed. Sure I sat in a cemetery and SH'd, but it wasn't bad, because I realised I didn't have any tissues and didn't want to ruin my shirt. I sat longer waiting for it to dry before walking home, and whilst I was waiting I got to watch a hedgehog for a while. Hedgehogs are...

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December 1st: GIVE: For World AIDS Day, see how far 40 cents can go for somebody HIV positive and get involved in a cure. http://bit.ly/WB6gK5...

"Change the voices in your head, make them like you instead."

I don't have voices in my head. I often get asked if I do . . . I don't. I have ideas, and plans, and urges . . . but they all come from me. Not some "other" thing. Just me. Which I suppose makes me somewhat sicker . . . I don't know.

I tore apart a razor because my old blades are blunt. I tore. Apart. A razor.
Ladies, (gents?) I am not well. I do not know what to do.
Everyday...

WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS DOWN, I MEAN DAMN!
Oh TH I simply adore you!
So lately, ugh, I don't even want to bring it up, but I will.
So I mentioned in one of my threads that I lashed out at a website and that they got offeneded, etc. I went and apologized but they began to taunt me and such so I decided to not only leave the site, but leave the fandom entirely. It's my favorite book and it sickens me to leave the fandom but they just ruined it for me. I felt so dreadful throughout...

Keri came over this morning. Didn't ask anything about the hoodie. Said I was clearly shattered. Offered to come over again later. I declined.

Last night, I'd just fallen asleep, and there was really loud knocking on the door. I didn't want to get it, but it kept going on for ages, so I went to my window at roughly the same time as my flatmate answered the door. It was the police. It was 2am. I was like, whafuck? And my flatmate felt the same. Turns out the guy that used to live here...