My mental illness won. Again. Again it made me give up a potential amazing opportunity without even trying. I was going to apply for funding for my thesis but I'm too depressed to bother and my advisor told me it's not worth it to push myself for something I'm probably not going to be proud of.
But now regardless I'm not going to be proud of the finished product. Because my mental illness won. Again. I gave up. Again. It always wins.

I hate being functionally mentally ill because...

I've been overwhelmed for weeks. It seems like my workload is only increasing and I don't have any time to sit and just relax anymore. Individual projects, group projects, other classwork, exams, committees, organizations. You name it, I'm in it. I don't really socialize anymore either.

I'm getting really run down and overloaded and overwhelmed and depressed. I haven't been to the gym in like two or three weeks and I've been eating like shit and have gained tons of weight. I've been...

TeenHelp Newsletter

TeenHelp Newsletter #107 - February 23rd 2019 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, new resources, details of upcoming events, short bits of advice, interesting links and more!

==========

TeenHelp News

TeenHelp regularly makes changes to its site and services....

TeenHelp Newsletter

TeenHelp Newsletter #106 - January 20th 2019 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, new resources, details of upcoming events, short bits of advice, interesting links and more!

==========

TeenHelp News

TeenHelp regularly makes changes to its site and services....

TeenHelp Newsletter #105 - December 24th 2018 - http://www.teenhelp.org

Welcome to the TeenHelp Newsletter! Our Newsletter contains a lot of useful information about our current work, including updates to our site and services, new resources, details of upcoming events, short bits of advice, interesting links and more!

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...

Oh my GOD. I CAN'T JUST BE OPEN WITHOUT SOMEONE AT MY SCHOOL GETTING SO TRIGGERED! I have enough on my plate already, so I do not need more.

Here is some background on what has happened.

You see, I was dating a 19 year old. Of course I loved him and I did everything in my power to make him happy. Yet, after threatening to stab myself and self harming, i found out he was cheating on me. I was in a psyche ward when I found out.

Anyways, when I got back...

Here is a story.

Once upon a time, there lived a teenaged girl. She was a short girl who loved life. Well, she got abused at home and bullied, which made her viewpoint change from positive to negative.

She had gone through many bad relationships, and finally found "the one", or so she thought. As she and her boyfriend visited one another, he grew distant. He stopped sending sweet paragraphs and started ignoring her and getting mad when she confronted him...

I wonder why people feel like this. This... uneasy feeling. Tightness in the chest. Tears rolling down faces.

I wonder what causes people to doubt reality.

I doubt reality. At this moment, I wonder why I even have friends. Why I have my amazing boyfriend. And these things are but a few of my doubts. Do my friends really care? Does my boyfriend really love me?

Wait, maybe it isn't reality I doubt. Is it me?

Story time.

So...

I feel so anxious right now. I don't know why, but it sucks. I'm terrified that someone is going to come in and just start yelling at me, or afraid that people are going to leave my life. Have to do what it takes to keep calm and get through the day. Hopefully my anxiety gets better.

So my mom just came in, yelled at me for being locked up in my room, and then said that we'll both "get through this together". Bullshit. She also threatened to send me back to RiverCrest or make me move in with my biological dad. Like she doesn't want to deal with me. I don't give her any problems and I try to keep my schoolwork in check, but she doesn't see. Then she goes and lies to me TWICE about me seeing my friend on Friday, and then about me being a community mentor on here. She...