Yup, it's Good Friday. I'm at my Mum's place, I've been here since yesterday afternoon. They have literally just driven out on their way to Rotorua, so it's just myself, Nana, and the dog. Good times.

Really brilliant news: I got $50! It seemed pretty random to me but it turns out that it's the money I made doing the short shift at Spotlight during stocktake. I was surprised, but I plan to go The Warehouse tomorrow to purchase new underwear. I'm down to only 5 comfortable pairs, due...

I'm going to dental surgery in 10 minutes.
I hate the dentists' office, but not as much as I hate hospitals.
I hate hospitals with a smoldering passion worthy of a cheesy paperback romcom from a corner store, the kind that you'd find betyween the toilet paper and the laxitive grahm crackers, that you'd initially buy becausethe intensely romantic sunset silhouette of two ridiculously sexy lovers embracing on a beach intrigued you, but after a few pages you realized how shitty romantic...

I go for a prom dress at the first week of April.
I want to wear a short dress. I'm NOT letting my scars stop me from that, unless of course I fall in love with a long dress.
I'm buying my first pair of shorts since elementary school this summer if I find a pair that looks good on me. I'm NOT Letting my scars stop me. Self image maybe.
But I just cut again. My one last hoorah before my mom sees my thighs and I can't anymore. I'll tell her that they're from before I sent her...

I think I already wrote about how stressful Thursday 14th March was. So on Friday 15th, I got up in the morning, floated around on the internet for a while, then left for my appointment with my key worker. I don't remember much of that appointment. I don't recall which room it was in, or if I used the whiteboard, or anything. It's just gone.

I got home around 4:30pm. My flatmate June, was sitting outside drinking with a friend. I did normal stuff, cooked dinner, watched TV. Got sick...

Source: Notice | Facilitated Chat Room Discussions.


There are three scheduled discussions on the topic of disabilities in the Chat Room for users to seek advice and share thoughts and ideas! The first discussion will be held at 8pm UK time (GMT/UTC), the second will be held at 8pm Eastern US time (EDT), and the third will be held...

I learned a few weeks ago that apparently that's the international standard for typing the date, so suck on it.

I have had a very exhausting day.
Got my iPod back.
Neighbour was arrested for it.
Police were helpful.
Leisa was amazing.
Did a boxing class, wasn't as hard as I thought it would be but still worked up a sweat.
Met Debbie, the psychologist I'm going to be seeing.
Shattered.

Worried that the TV is watching me...

I've learned her schedule, so I can avoid eye contact or even her all together, if that days bad enough. Today the moment that lasted the longest is when I chose to make eye contact with her, I saw all the pain all of the suffering I caused. I can't let this happen again people are far to important to break. Now I'm going to start remembering every moment as well as every outcome. I can't be close to anyone anymore, I cause too much pain

Yesterday made 2 years on this incredible site, but unfortunately I wasn't able to make it online to celebrate. But that's okay, because I'm here now and I won't be leaving anytime soon.

I love being a staffie here, it's been an amazing experience. Here's to 2 more years!

I finished WRAP. I'll get a certificate at the beginning of April. Leisa's looking at PET (Peer Education Training) for me, with the intention of me eventually becoming a Peer Support Specialist. I'm proud to have actually completed something, even if it was only 8 two hour classes. It's something.

Last Monday or Tuesday (I don't remember which), my ex, Laura, sent me a message and a friend request on facebook. It really threw me. I have since blocked her, and discovered via a friend...

I've spent so long reaching out to people, asking for help and no one will, they all say they're there for me, but when i actually ask for the help they're not. My family hate me, they tell me regularly they can't wait for me to leave. My friends well... so called friends don't care what i do, how much I hurt myself and will think badly off me if I told them the truth.

I've been holding on like people tell me to, but for what, why am I just holding on for nothing.

I'm better...