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And you all know you could have saved her...
Posted November 9th 2009 at 02:33 AM by omg.megan
Updated November 9th 2009 at 03:19 AM by omg.megan
Updated November 9th 2009 at 03:19 AM by omg.megan
We all try so hard to forget things sometimes, we all want to erase some events from our memory, we don’t want to be reminded of anything painful that may have hurt you before...and when we do actually remember, when we are forced to remember ; it hurts. Real bad.
That’s exactly what he did to me. Just by calling, he left me empty and totally ruined the strength that I had felt these past few weeks. He fucking killed me with his stupid phone call. He brought back all the crap I’ve been longing to forget.
I want to get away right now, take off. I don’t want people to miss me, I don’t want them to think of me – they don’t deserve any of it. They don’t deserve to be hurt by me once more, and I swear I won’t do it again. I won’t hurt people anymore, I can’t bare the thought of hurting them once more.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this blog entry right now, it probably doesn’t make sense to anyone, it doesn’t even make sense to me. I can’t figure it out. I can’t seem to figure out the mess that is my life. I’m tired of dragging people down with me, I don’t mean to do so, but I do. Nobody has the guts to tell me though. Why lie ? Seriously, the truth is obvious, even to the one concerned ; yours truly.
Anyway, I’m in a weird mood right now. I feel as though everything around me is unreal. Fake. Whether it be the people surrounding me, my friends but mostly, myself. I can’t trust myself, I thought I could be I can’t...I proved that, once again, on Thursday. It is as though I had forgotten how much the stares hurt, how much they affected me. Earlier today, I had the kind of moment where you question yourself, you question your sanity. It hadn’t happened to me in a while but considering the circumstances of this week, ehh.
He crushed me and I failed to fight back. I fell back and grasped onto something that seemed familiar, comforting, but I doubt it will be for long. It slowly kills you, eats you on the inside and make everyone turn their back on you.
I should have known better...
- Megan
That’s exactly what he did to me. Just by calling, he left me empty and totally ruined the strength that I had felt these past few weeks. He fucking killed me with his stupid phone call. He brought back all the crap I’ve been longing to forget.
I want to get away right now, take off. I don’t want people to miss me, I don’t want them to think of me – they don’t deserve any of it. They don’t deserve to be hurt by me once more, and I swear I won’t do it again. I won’t hurt people anymore, I can’t bare the thought of hurting them once more.
I don’t even know why I’m writing this blog entry right now, it probably doesn’t make sense to anyone, it doesn’t even make sense to me. I can’t figure it out. I can’t seem to figure out the mess that is my life. I’m tired of dragging people down with me, I don’t mean to do so, but I do. Nobody has the guts to tell me though. Why lie ? Seriously, the truth is obvious, even to the one concerned ; yours truly.
Anyway, I’m in a weird mood right now. I feel as though everything around me is unreal. Fake. Whether it be the people surrounding me, my friends but mostly, myself. I can’t trust myself, I thought I could be I can’t...I proved that, once again, on Thursday. It is as though I had forgotten how much the stares hurt, how much they affected me. Earlier today, I had the kind of moment where you question yourself, you question your sanity. It hadn’t happened to me in a while but considering the circumstances of this week, ehh.
He crushed me and I failed to fight back. I fell back and grasped onto something that seemed familiar, comforting, but I doubt it will be for long. It slowly kills you, eats you on the inside and make everyone turn their back on you.
I should have known better...
- Megan
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I love you, kay? <3
No matter what you're going through, I know you're strong enough to defeat your own demons. <3
You have to believe in yourself, like I believe in you babe. <3
Hold your head up high, and continue to be the amazing person that is my partner in crime. <3
ILY. Always. <3Posted November 9th 2009 at 11:31 AM by Hollifire
