Scared Jan. 27, 2013

I'm scared to get close to some one. I'm scared I'll let them down. I'm scared I'll do something to cause them pain. I hate to see the look on others faces when I let them down. I don't want to do that. I want everyone to be happy, but doing so I know I wont be able to make everyone happy. The idea of getting close to some one and causing them pain scares me to death. I don't want to do that to anyone. I have problems getting close to others because of that. I'm scared they wont like me. I'm scared I wont be good enough, but I'm always scared of that. That's why I've never dated anyone. I've liked people. I just think they should have better. I think they should be with some one who could give them the love they deserve and some one who can receive their's. They should be with some one that can express their feeling in a way that isn't physical. The only way I can express my feelings is by hugs, holding hands, or snuggling. I can't tell some one that I care about them. I can't express myself that way. It doesn't help that I hate to show any emotion at all. That's what I hate. I'm scared that if I show emotion I'll be seen as weak. All I want to do is walk up to people and tell them how I really feel. My conversations wouldn't feel empty, useless, or hopeless. That's all I want...