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just done (possibly triggering)
Posted August 16th 2012 at 04:08 PM by monkey01
Updated August 16th 2012 at 06:55 PM by Palmolive (Adding triggering prefix and removing weight numbers)
Updated August 16th 2012 at 06:55 PM by Palmolive (Adding triggering prefix and removing weight numbers)
i'm just done i cant take this anymore i feel so alone chelseys gone my life is falling apart its a year tomorrow since my little brother killed himself he was 11 and it was my fault that he died ive never told anyone this but last thing i ever said to him was that he was a worthless peice of crap who no one loves or could ever love so do us all a favor and kill yourself no one would miss you we had a fight i never meant it but i can never take it back. its been almost a year since i started cutting its 3 days till a year since i first attempted. ive attempted 6 times in total. and tonight i will die i cant take this shit anymore im to tired to fight i haven't slept or showered in 6 days im disgusting i look worse and uglier than i usually do i met with my ED doctor tuesday im [X] now i gained [X] in 4 weeks i feel so fat. im just done with everything no one would even notice so goodbye all. please forgive me
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Your brother's death is NOT your fault, sweetie. We all say things we don't mean sometimes. He had to have been really depressed before you even said that for him to kill himself. Your brother wouldn't want you to feel guilty, so he would never kill himself because of you.
What I think you need to do is meet with a therapist or talk to one, whether it be by phone or over email as SOON AS POSSIBLE. Do not hold back a single thing, say absolutely EVERYTHING that's bugging you. It may be tough but it can save your life. We do NOT want you to kill yourself, so please talk to someone now! Look up a help hotline for your area and talk to as many hotlines as you can.
With the self-harming, try as many alternatives as possible. When you get an urge, reward yourself with something safe and not self-destructive.
Like someone said in one of your threads your sister would NOT want you to kill yourself, neither would your brother. PLEASE hang in there and PLEASE stay strong. You CAN do this! I PROMISE you! There will come a time when you'll be happy in your life, and you'll be SO GLAD you didn't kill yourself.
Hang in there! Stay strong, dear!Posted August 16th 2012 at 04:19 PM by Symphony.
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Darlin' your brother's death wasn't your fault, like Sarah said he must have been entirely depressed before that for him to commit suicide. Your brother, your friend, your family wouldn't want this for you. Your brother loves you; he wouldn't want to see you make the same mistake he did. You all will be reunited honey, just not today. Not this year, not the next, not for a long long time.
I do agree with seeing a therapist, but it doesn't have to be a licensed therapist. I find it hard to talk to strangers myself. You just need to find someone you can talk to, someone you trust, but you need to let it all out. You can't bottle it up anymore. You have to let all your anger, pain, sadness, depression and everything else out. It will be hard but it will help. I do not want to see you go.
If you don't feel like talking to someone you don't know, you can sure call me. Skype me, it doesn't matter. I will listen and I will try to help you as much as I possibly can. If this is how you want to let all your feelings out, I can PM you my number and my skype name. I'm a wonderful listener and I do not push people to do anything they don't want.
Concerning your self-harming; pain isn't the last resort. When you feel like you need it, think about your brother. Think about what he would say if he saw you do this. Cutting isn't the last resort for anything. When you get that urge, go do something distracting something you love. I personally love going out and grooming my horses when I'm depressed. If you love horses, ask your parents to sign you up for classes at a stables. But cutting yourself can't be your only way of releasing pain. Once you do get past that urge, reward yourself something small. Buy a jar and fill it with your favorite candy, when you get over that urge take one out. Heck I'll even send ya a bag of my favorite candy if you want. xD
Stay with us darlin' you'll see that life is worth living.Posted August 16th 2012 at 04:39 PM by Katelina
Updated August 16th 2012 at 06:48 PM by monkey01
