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Here is a blog about my life
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losing (Possibly triggering)

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Posted August 8th 2012 at 07:26 PM by monkey01
Updated October 11th 2012 at 06:10 PM by Palmolive (Adding triggering prefix)

well my arm is in a cast i punched a wall and broke my wrist i cut sunday and i feel like cutting again i want to so so bad. i haven't eaten since sunday everytime i try to i end up in tears i just cant bring myself to eat. im losing my battle to everything i just cant take much more. i dont really feel any emotion anymore. im just tired of living this way. i just dont know what to do i want to get better so bad i wanted to get better before school starts but now that will be impossible im tired of putting on a happy face and a everything is perfect act. im just tired. i dont want people to know that my life is not perfect. im tired of acting like it is. i dont want people to worry about me cause im not worth it. i hate how i dont love myself i dont see how people can love and care about me when i dont love or care about myself. im losing my battle against everything i dont think im strong enough to continue on with everything im just tired of fighting everyday.
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  1. Old Comment
    Moxie.'s Avatar
    Chantelle,

    You don't need to be strong all the time. I know what it's like to want to put on a mask and convince everything that you're fine. But, that can only last for so long before the cracks start showing. Why don't you try reaching out to a select group of people in your life? Your friends and your family love you and they want to be there for you. But, you need to let them in so they can know how to help you. Trust me, taking the mask off is scary at first. But, it turns out to be worth it all when you realize that there are people in your corner who are going to help you make everything okay.

    I also know what it's like to get discouraged when recovery isn't happening as fast as you would like it to. But, look at the progress you've already made! The slip-ups you made last weekend don't take away from the giant steps you've already taken in the right direction. So, don't let yourself think you're starting back at square one because you're not. You're picking up right where you left off and you're going to continue to get better.

    You're an amazing young woman, Chantelle. I have complete faith in the fact that you are going to continue to recover and that you will find happiness one day. <3
    permalink
    Posted August 10th 2012 at 06:36 PM by Moxie. Moxie. is offline
  2. Old Comment
    monkey01's Avatar
    right now my mind is on other things than recovery
    permalink
    Posted August 10th 2012 at 06:47 PM by monkey01 monkey01 is offline
 
 
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