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Just Give Me a Reason

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Posted October 14th 2012 at 04:38 AM by Lumos.

Can i get even 2 days of being happy. i was fine for yesterday. But then today 1 bad thing happens and i feel like complete crap. One thing that most people wouldn't start crying about. I hate this. Hate all of this.

The thing that made me feel awful was 1 person yelling at me. Me and my mother were at a birthday party for her best friends daughter. There was a bunch of kids, i had to watch them all. On of them was driving me crazy, i think his name was Mario. I asked him how old he was he said 9 like he was older than me. He was really rude to me. My moms best friend has a really cute puppy, and i'll be truthful, i was being greedy with the puppy. He kept grabbing the puppy, and holding him the wrong way. So 2 of the little kids including mario, started fighting over who got to hold the puppy. I told the mom and she told me to put the puppy in the crate. So i was going to go get him, and mario kept pulling on him. I said hey mario she told me to put him in the crate, he wouldn't let go. Then the little girl who's birthday party it was's dad came outside and shut the door and started yelling at us for fighting. I tried to tell him that i was trying to put the puppy in the crate like the mom said. He just started yelling in my face. I said fine and walked inside, went to the bathroom.
I started crying (i can't stand people yelling at me). i cried for like the first time in months. And it was such a stupid reason. I hate myself for crying.

I haven't cut in a little over 2 weeks. I'm trying. Nothing is stopping me from cutting anymore. I don't have a reason. Give me one someone...

thinking about just saying 'fuck it'
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