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Again? *trig*

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Posted July 30th 2012 at 01:32 AM by Lumos.

I was doing so good. I was happy and confident, had no urges then all the sudden i want to cut up my skin hundreds of times. And feel so down. The night before last i couldn't stop crying, my mom was annoying me and all i wanted to do was cut. I distracted myself, drew pictures, wrote, and listened to music. It worked for that day. I didn't cut but i still have the urges. Starting to to think its better to give up.

I don't have a therapy appointment for another month. I just need to talk to someone. Im afraid that going back to school is gonna put too much pressure on me and i'll want to kill myself and relapse with cutting. Or the people would be mean and push me to that. I wouldn't know what to do if the urges hit me suddenly. Im so scared of that.

Have to stay at my grandmothers house for the next 2 days, hope that i get on the internet there. i don't know what to do if i have urges there. I can't cut at my grandmothers. But maybe i would. my mind keeps telling me to cut.

might just relapse 82 days isn't that long right? Don't know what to do
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