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Posted January 26th 2012 at 05:57 AM by Lumos.

I don't even know why im writing this. No one even cares.. Maybe i should stop posting. Im just selfish.

My parents are thinking about taking my door off its hinges. Or taking me to a hospital. (i don't want to go, but they've told me they would take me if i needed it) They probably thing im crazy, and that theres something wrong with me. My parents want me to talk but i can't more secrets will slip out. Im so tired of this. I don't want to talk at all anymore. Maybe i should just stop talking. Everyone would be happier.

Im proud of myself for 1 thing, i found more blades, but instead of keeping them i threw them out. It might not be that big of an accomplishment. But it is to me. Some how in my head it means im getting a bit better. I also started the butterfly project, its helping. I names the butterfly after my baby cousin, Finn. He's one thing that puts a smile on my face.

People keep telling me im rude. The past week everyone except for my online friends have been annoying me. Any little thing they say. I've just been pushed over the edge..

Im so tired right now yet im wide awake. I need sleep but i don't want it. I should sleep because i have school. Im gonna stay up for a bit longer. Theres no point in sleeping if you wake up just as tired as when you went to sleep.

Im gonna start a new medication tomorrow. Hope it works better than the last one. Also with this one i might try harder to get better im really tired of all of this.

Im trying... I really am
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