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Happy New Years!
Posted January 1st 2012 at 05:48 PM by Lumos.
Happy new years everyone! Hope you all had a good night. And i hope you all have a great year.
I had a good night. Went to my aunts house. Saw my baby cousin. He's 19 months old. So cute. I love him. He's one of the only reasons i stay alive. He makes me happy.
Last night we all sat around playing games and talking.The adults were drunk. My mom let me have spiked eggnog. First time ever having alcohol. My dad would never let me. So another secret to keep.But this one isnt bad.
I hadn't cut for 51 days. But then i ruined it. 1 day now.
Im not going to tell my counselor. She'd tell my dad, he'd search my room. Lying is the only thing i can do. Im tired of it.
I made new years resolutions yesterday.Here they are:
•Lose weight
•Don't cut (don't thing im gonna be able to keep this one)
•Get all A's or B's
•Read more
I don't think im gonna be able to keep any of them. I'll try..
I'm feeling so worthless. I'm tired of living. Ready to give up. Starting to close off from others. Letting people in gets them hurt. I can't do that anymore.
Someone save me.
I had a good night. Went to my aunts house. Saw my baby cousin. He's 19 months old. So cute. I love him. He's one of the only reasons i stay alive. He makes me happy.
Last night we all sat around playing games and talking.The adults were drunk. My mom let me have spiked eggnog.
First time ever having alcohol. My dad would never let me. So another secret to keep.But this one isnt bad. I hadn't cut for 51 days. But then i ruined it. 1 day now.
Im not going to tell my counselor. She'd tell my dad, he'd search my room. Lying is the only thing i can do. Im tired of it. I made new years resolutions yesterday.Here they are:
•Lose weight
•Don't cut (don't thing im gonna be able to keep this one)
•Get all A's or B's
•Read more
I don't think im gonna be able to keep any of them. I'll try..
I'm feeling so worthless. I'm tired of living. Ready to give up. Starting to close off from others. Letting people in gets them hurt. I can't do that anymore.
Someone save me.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Sounds like a lovely evening, hanging out with the family! You know, as far as the self-harm relapse goes, that certainly doesn't negate or erase all of the progress you've made. I don't think that ruins it; I really don't. I think the fact that you consider it a slip-up in the first place shows that you're on the track to recovery and that you have a lot of gumption. There's something lovely about that. (: I hope you do make the decision to be honest with yourself and open with your counselor. Even though the short-term repercussions sound bad, it seems like the long-term benefits of really being honest with your counselor and trying to get the most out of this that you possibly can will outweigh that.
You know, we're here to support you in your resolutions, as long as they're pursued in a healthful way that's good for you. (: I'm so sorry things aren't going so well right now, and I certainly hope things start to shape up soon.
You take good care of yourself, okay?Posted January 2nd 2012 at 01:30 AM by Katrina
