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Posted December 26th 2011 at 07:06 PM by Lumos.

Christmas was ok. Pretended im happy, and better. It all just seemed like a blur. Too much happy people. I almost tricked myself for a while that i was happy. I don't think im ever going to get better. I wish i was. Felt so low yesterday. ive felt like that all of last week too. I was (somewhat) a little happier for about 2 weeks. I actually believed i would get better. yeah right, i don't think im ever gonna be better or happy.
All i wanted to do yesterday was to be alone and cut. I didnt. I don't think i can make it any more days. Today is 47 days without cutting. im tired of fighting the urges.
I overdosed on my medication yesterday. Im feeling sick and dizzy still. I hope my parents don't find out.
Can't stop thinking about suicide. I just want this to end.
Feeling so alone once again.
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  1. Old Comment
    Katrina's Avatar
    47 days, my goodness. What an accomplishment. (: That's wonderful. <3 Are you being treated for depression at this time? If not, can we make some plans for how you might be able to get some help? We want to be here to support you, and I know things seem hopeless right now, but there is hope, and there is help. Recovery is real. Take good care of yourself.
    permalink
    Posted December 27th 2011 at 01:59 PM by Katrina Katrina is offline
 
 
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