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Worthless
Posted November 15th 2011 at 12:24 AM by Lumos.
I just realized today that im failing 3 of my classes. I have an F and 2 D's. The F is in math which is normally my best class. My parents are going to kill me. I wish it was literal.
My grades were fine for the first quarter of the year. But now they are dropping again. I might have my phone or internet taken away because of it. Id rather they take away my phone. I couldnt live with them taking away my internet. I hope they don't. 
I was doing good with not cutting i had gone 23 days. But then i mess it all up. and im at 4 days right now.. I just mess every single thing in my life up. Im sure everyone else thinks that too.
Im tired of faking a smile. Tired of every thing. Wishing id disapear from everyone's lives. It would be better for everyone. Im a horrible friend. And horrible person.
Counseling has been fine. I don't like it. It hasnt really helped. My counselor is sending me to the phychiatrist on the 22nd of this month. Don't really want meds. I don't think they'll help. My counselor thinks she knows me but she doesnt,only a few people online, and 1 person who i see in person know who i really am.
The counselor still doesnt know that i want to kill myself, and that i've tried too. I can't tell her, she would have to tell my parents. And i can't. It would hurt them, and they'd get really mad. i wish i could tell them but i can't.
Im ready to give up. I can't do this anymore. Everyone would be happier without me. Im so worthless.
My grades were fine for the first quarter of the year. But now they are dropping again. I might have my phone or internet taken away because of it. Id rather they take away my phone. I couldnt live with them taking away my internet. I hope they don't. I was doing good with not cutting i had gone 23 days. But then i mess it all up. and im at 4 days right now.. I just mess every single thing in my life up.
Im sure everyone else thinks that too. Im tired of faking a smile. Tired of every thing. Wishing id disapear from everyone's lives. It would be better for everyone. Im a horrible friend. And horrible person.
Counseling has been fine. I don't like it. It hasnt really helped. My counselor is sending me to the phychiatrist on the 22nd of this month. Don't really want meds. I don't think they'll help. My counselor thinks she knows me but she doesnt,only a few people online, and 1 person who i see in person know who i really am.
The counselor still doesnt know that i want to kill myself, and that i've tried too. I can't tell her, she would have to tell my parents. And i can't. It would hurt them, and they'd get really mad. i wish i could tell them but i can't.
Im ready to give up. I can't do this anymore. Everyone would be happier without me. Im so worthless.
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Comments
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Dont think that you are worthless. I used to think that until i stopped smiling and a boy came up to me and said sont stop smiling any minute of the day because you never know who is falling in love with it and i never stopped smiling even if it was very fake!! It will be better. Just keep calm and smile on!Posted November 15th 2011 at 02:39 AM by -epicfail-
