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Im trying
Posted September 28th 2011 at 04:28 AM by Lumos.
I went to counseling yesterday. Met the lady who im going to be seeing for 6 or more months. Her name is Jill. she is nice enough. She told me i can't stop going to her unless i stop cutting and havent cut for 6 months.And i have to be happy again. Thats never gonna happen. She asked if i have thought about or attempted suicide i said no.
I sort of wish i had told her the truth but i couldnt. She would have to tell my parents. They can't know about it. They wouldnt understand.
I havent cut since last Thursday. i wanted to all weekend. All i wanted was to slice open my arm.
I couldnt because my mom never leaves me alone. im trrying to not cut but i don't think i can.. Its too hard. I just wish id die already.
Tomorrow is my birthday. Im normally excited. But now i don't even want it to come. Im going out to dinner with family . I don't really want to. I just have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy. Then at school i wish everyone would forget about my birthday. People keep on saying they are going to sing happy birthday to me. I wish theyd understand i don't want them to. I just don't want a birthday. Just skip tomorrow. But i'll try to put on smile. I'll give up by the middle of the day because no one cares. Im just a selfish,worthless person.
I don't know if i can live anymore.
I sort of wish i had told her the truth but i couldnt. She would have to tell my parents. They can't know about it. They wouldnt understand. I havent cut since last Thursday. i wanted to all weekend. All i wanted was to slice open my arm.
I couldnt because my mom never leaves me alone. im trrying to not cut but i don't think i can.. Its too hard. I just wish id die already. Tomorrow is my birthday. Im normally excited. But now i don't even want it to come. Im going out to dinner with family . I don't really want to. I just have to put on a fake smile and pretend to be happy. Then at school i wish everyone would forget about my birthday. People keep on saying they are going to sing happy birthday to me. I wish theyd understand i don't want them to. I just don't want a birthday. Just skip tomorrow. But i'll try to put on smile. I'll give up by the middle of the day because no one cares. Im just a selfish,worthless person.
I don't know if i can live anymore.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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you arent a selfish, worthless person. =) things can get better, and trust me that things are gonna get better =) but remember that your birthday is something that can definitely be good, and remember that you should be happy =)
stay safe, and stay awesome. cause you are awesome.Posted September 28th 2011 at 09:24 AM by Green Yoshi
