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Feeling worthless, self destruction
trying to take control of this.
Find a purpose, reconstruction
write it somewhere it will stick.
And the stars are hiding now
but there’s something out there still.
And she knows, yeah she knows
there’s an awful lot of beauty in this world
As I’m typing, I can’t help noticing the small red lines on the back of my wrist. Evidence of yesterday’s mistakes. Won’t be too long before they’re gone,...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 222
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Sometimes there are things we just don’t want to know. Yet we do anyway.
And it’s always the things that hurt the most. Especially when it’s as if there is no reason in the world for it to hurt. It does. And that can’t be changed.
So we find an excuse to leave and find a way to dry our tears. Until the next time.
Because they don’t need to know how much it hurts. No one ever knows the true extent of how much they hurt you. They can be the closest friend you have,...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 231
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I give up on the NHS, seriously. I understand that free healthcare is like a godsend to people, I get that, but it would help if the healthcare we get, actually helped
I had my last chance to get some help today and I blew it. Or rather, the psych nurse blew it.
I went there with a list, my friend gave me a list of things I should talk about. And I wrote them all down.
She said to mention:
- Paranoia, also in relation to eating. (I have to eat in even numbers)
...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 314
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“And the colours of these roads are matching the rainy sky, we’re too blind to see what’s really here in front of our eyes. And I hope someday, this will all reverse, and send us back to the times before. Before we grew up and lost the novelty of clear blue skies and climbing trees, can’t you see what our lies have come to be?”
Things are so much more complicated now. The most...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 286
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There are some things you just don't want to talk about. Or know about. Or think about. Mostly because they hurt. Or because they hold bad memories and thoughts that will only lead to bad things.
Or maybe it's just due to bad experiences.
I mean, take love for example. I despise talking about it because to be honest, I don't really believe in it.
I mean, I know you can love your family and your friends, but when it comes to being IN LOVE with someone and being destined for them...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 255
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I knew I had good reasons not to trust anyone.
That voice in my head telling me that the ones who make me tell them everything are only doing so in order to use it against me later.
"No." I told that voice "If they were really just acting then they'd never tell me anything and they do!" Wow that just shows how wrong I was. Just...URGH there is so much I could just rant about now but no. I don't want to upset anyone. So I'll just keep pretending, as usual, that it's...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 309
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I was kind of looking forward to one last visit to my old school to see my friends after the summer before I start college. Now I'm not sure I'm even going to go.
I never really considered the possibility that someone I cared about could actually judge me. I was having one of those random comment-conversations with a friend Scott last night. In it I mentioned that I had an almost-half-girlfriend (SO complicated at the moment, we're trying to work it out) and he said that wasn't...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 252
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I'm sitting right now on my bed with my duvet around my shoulders. It's cosy but the weight of it on me hurts SO much. 
It's so typical, we went the whole holiday without any accidents -apart from my dad getting a small bruise from being on a red-route cycle track- and as we were cycling to the car to attach the bikes to the roof and go home, I fell.
Well, more flew than fell 
And I don't even know what happened. Some friends think it was a suicide attempt and...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 245
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As the title suggests I'm headed back home tomorrow. 
I don't want to go, I know that no one ever wants to go home from a holiday but I love it here so much. It's like a second home, we've been coming here for so long. It's so beautiful and natural. I can't stress how much I love it.
I don't know if it's the idea of going home and facing everything again that's doing this but I've been so ridiculously suicidal the past few days and it's really starting to bother me. Whereas before...
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 251
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Llama Lover/Skittle Minion
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Views 236
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