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Old

Back from holidays. Woohoo. *trig* Private Entry

Posted July 3rd 2011 at 08:29 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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Old

Stupid laptop. Private Entry

Posted July 2nd 2011 at 09:47 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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Old

Holidays. *trig* Private Entry

Posted June 26th 2011 at 08:24 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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Old

The stars only shine in the darkness. Private Entry

Posted June 19th 2011 at 11:32 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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Rant. (trig) Private Entry

Posted June 15th 2011 at 07:25 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

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Old

Fun times.

Posted May 30th 2011 at 11:23 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Was effectively kicked out of college last week. Long story short: There's no way I could have got the work done in time since I found out on Monday that the deadline was Wednesday and early hours of Saturday morning was the earliest time I could have even been close to having it ready.
Still having nightmares every night. Keep dreaming about my family. About things going wrong at work. About things going wrong in general. My sleeping is terrible at night and I'm finding myself virtually...
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Old

I have the cold. Huff.

Posted May 26th 2011 at 01:13 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck


I'm laying on my bed feeling awful. I'm totally stuffed up. I keep coughing and sneezing and it's making me feel sick. All this is making my head hurt and I just want to cry. I hate being sick!
Someone send me hugs and make me feel better? Please?
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Old

Meh (trig?)

Posted May 18th 2011 at 06:09 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Not having access to the internet has given me a lot to think about. I can't just distract myself with random things to read and learn about and watch.
It's made me think a lot about a girl I used to be friends with. She used to get angry with me for the smallest things, but she never told me. She just froze me out. She once stopped talking to me altogether for two weeks without telling me why. Every single time we had an argument I went crawling back, crying and apologising and coming up
...
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Old

D: (trig?)

Posted May 12th 2011 at 06:08 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Have no idea what I'm doing or thinking. I'm trying so, so hard to be good. Haven't cut since Sunday, been eating at least 1 1/2 to 2 meals a day. I was more open with the doctor than I wanted to be. But it feels like the more I try, the lower my mood gets.
I thought eating more and cutting less and trying to fix everything would make me happy. But in reality it's making me more and more miserable and I can't really understand why. I really just want to shut myself away and hide from everyone.
...
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Old

Doctors, rainbows and crazy people.

Posted May 11th 2011 at 05:39 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Saw the doctor again today. It was the same one who laughed at me last time when I tried explaining how cutting makes me feel better. Wasn't planning on telling her anything but she was actually really nice. Asked how my mood was and I said it was okay today. Told her the self harm thoughts were the same though and that I wasn't actively suicidal.
Explained how I'd been having really weird dreams with these pills. Keep dreaming about work and things going wrong, not exactly nightmares but
...
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