I'm struggling so bad just now.
It's like someone's died. I can't stop crying at everything. I feel really sick and empty and I can't even explain it.
I can't do this. I can't just accept that that's it. I keep praying I'm going to wake up and it'll all just be a dream.
I can't come to terms with the fact that I won't be going to sleep with and waking up to texts every day. It just feels like it shouldn't be so easy to just give up. It's not easy anyway. I can't explain it....

Today has really sucked. It feels like every time I feel like I'm getting my life back on track, something happens to push me a few steps back again. Don't get me wrong, I know this is important and something that needs to be done. That doesn't make it any easier.

Mum reckons I'm acting weird, my brother's confused because I went off on a rant about how unrealistic happily ever after love stories are. I'm just sat in my room with about 4 times the amount of calories I should have,...

You get a free cookie and a hug if you recognise where the title comes from.

It's been a weird week. My brother and I woke up on Sunday to notes from the "Easter Bunny" saying that other bunnies were trying to invade his (her?) territory but to remain faithful since he (she?) has brought us chocolate every year. Mum still hides our eggs for us to find, and we enjoy the hunt, so we went looking and in the garden I found a mirror for me from "Looking good bunny"...

Spent the night and most of today freaking out because I was dreaming that a girl I used to be friends with had her hands all over me and was trying to kiss me when I clearly didn't want her to. I spent my whole dream running from her and woke up feeling like I'd just run a marathon. Been jumping and freaking at every little noise in case it's her.
I don't know why, I haven't seen or heard from her in two years. Not since she lied about being raped and came out as lesbian two months before...

Easy to fall, easy to break

Rough couple of weeks. I've felt so on edge. My mum went through my room on Saturday. Found blades and took them, found a knife with blood I didn't know about, read my diary. Got herself worked up over nothing. It's still been 6 months, and the diary entries were from last year.
Some asshole's decided to start sending me rude messages anonymously. I don't know why it's bothering me so much. What did I do wrong? Why send me something that's just...

Gah. Mum's on at me to eat. I'm not hungry.
Looks like the past week has reversed on me. I'm now repulsed at the thought of food instead of being hungry all the time.
My godmother's coming over later. And if she tries to talk to me about what happened with the counsellor then I'm leaving. I can't talk about that shit and they don't seem to get it.
Yes I'm fine. Yes I promise. No I won't do anything. Yes I'll talk to you if I do or if I want to. Yes I promise I will. I love...

Struggling to think straight. Struggling to breathe.
I've been so on edge since last night and it's scary. I keep imagining dark shapes out of the corner of my eye. Keep seeing my door move and then I look up and it's perfectly still. I jump at the slightest noise and just can't relax or feel comfortable. Last time I felt this way I just cut up my arms and legs a bit until I was calm enough to settle down and sleep.
I haven't been scared of the dark for 2 years now. I've been able...

Finally back home after a long, boring, painful, and exhausting ride home. Had to walk a stupidly long route just get out of the bloody station and into town because the government have decided to close all the roads and paths into the station and dig up the road and keep it closed for 50 weeks. Yes, 50. I want to take whoever thought that up and bury them in one of their own pointless road holes.
Taxi on the way home going past where my papa lives (sorry, putting a d at the end of that was...

Really bad day.
Think I'm gonna drop out of college.
Tutor's pissed with me.
Been carrying a blade about with me.
My card was rejected twice because Amazon haven't refunded me like they were supposed to so I can't get my train tickets.
I could feel a girl who went to my school staring at me on the bus which just scared the hell out of me.
Everything seemed to go wrong. On impulse I went into Asda and bought stuff I really shouldn't have. Made plans and set...

I've waited so long for someone to say that to me. I met with Fiona (course tutor) and Susie (student support worker) today for a "Progress Review". We talked about what I'd done, what I still had to hand in, and what I needed to do.
As of now I need to:

1. Make a workbook with inspirations and explanations for my graphic design class.
2. Make the poster for my graphic design class and hand it in.
3. Hand in my user interface design images and do the writing part of them for

...