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Falling is like flying...until you hit the ground
Posted April 19th 2010 at 08:55 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I'm falling again.
Into that black hole.
It's deep and it's dark and it's lonely.
I'm alone. Red tears dripping as the days go by. The longing to cry blood becoming stronger and stronger with each passing moment.
My thoughts? 'I want to die.' I'm not aware of being particularly suicidal, but I can't deny that this thought hasn't left me for over a year.
I'm spending nights sitting alone in the darkness where forbidden tears finally make their escape. Yet even as I sit here, there are words that will not leave my conscious mind;
It's kind of funny how much three small, seemingly insignificant cuts can hurt. And not just physically.
The emotional pain of everything that's happened this year is threatening to overwhelm me. Every day new realisations dawn. And every day I think of new, more dangerous ways to cope with it. I don't know how much longer I'll last. I guess it's only a matter of time before I try again.
And until then, I bleed.
Into that black hole.
It's deep and it's dark and it's lonely.
I'm alone. Red tears dripping as the days go by. The longing to cry blood becoming stronger and stronger with each passing moment.
My thoughts? 'I want to die.' I'm not aware of being particularly suicidal, but I can't deny that this thought hasn't left me for over a year.
I'm spending nights sitting alone in the darkness where forbidden tears finally make their escape. Yet even as I sit here, there are words that will not leave my conscious mind;
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, screaming.
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost...?
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost...?
It's kind of funny how much three small, seemingly insignificant cuts can hurt. And not just physically.
The emotional pain of everything that's happened this year is threatening to overwhelm me. Every day new realisations dawn. And every day I think of new, more dangerous ways to cope with it. I don't know how much longer I'll last. I guess it's only a matter of time before I try again.
And until then, I bleed.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Nat, you're not alone, never alone, okay? =(.
I know it's not the easiest thing in the world, and hell, I'm the world's biggest hypocrite here myself, but just talk to someone when you feel like that. Hell, not even about the thing that's upsetting you, or how you're feeling, just a chat and a blether, so you don't have to be alone, 'kay?
And for whatever it's worth, you've got me. You've got me, and my number and you can talk to me whenever, even if it's in the early hours or whatever, you know me, I don't exactly sleep to a normal schedule, so whenever really.
You're stronger than you think Nat-chan
Posted April 20th 2010 at 07:17 AM by Power Cosmic
