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Frustratedness. Rant >.<
Posted March 30th 2010 at 08:04 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
Argh I REALLY have to rant at SOMETHING!
I am getting so annoyed at everyone. They’re all trying to make me do sociology. I hate it. I can’t stand the subject. That class has literally made me feel suicidal and I’ve sat there thinking of ways to die just to get out of there.
I really can’t deal with it and because I got 41% in the prelim they’re all trying to make me. I have Wilma or whatever her name is talking about how I can easily get a B and she’d be sad to lose me.
Mr. Kennedy is going on about how I’m the ‘ideal student’ for sociology. He even started telling me that I didn’t do as well as I could have last year and this is my chance to make up for it. Well I’m so sorry that I was so fucking depressed last year that I was sitting there cutting my arms and carving words into myself in an attempt to feel something other than numbness and anger and wanting to die so badly that I even made a noose out of ties and shoelaces. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t really find the focus. I passed the exams didn’t I? I got an A in Spanish and 2 C’s what’s wrong with that??
Mum keeps saying she thinks I should do it cause I was close to passing and it will be another pass on my SQA certificate.
Dad’s trying to fucking bribe me ‘£50 if you pass it’ ‘I’m not doing it. I hate it. I told you.’ ‘£55.’ Now he’s telling me that he won’t fix my UTP cable if I don’t do it. Great. So I have a choice now do I? Fail a subject that I hate with a burning, deep set passion and be able to walk or sit hunched over every night whilst studying or TeenHelping or whatever and be crippled before I’m 30. Wow. What an option.
They just don’t get that I CAN’T DO THE STUPID SUBJECT. I hate it. I honestly cannot deal with it and they’re trying to make me. The only thing that’s been stopping me from cutting over it is the thought that after the prelim I’d be able to drop it. Mrs Fagan said if I failed it I could drop it. Apparently I didn’t fail by enough. So what? You want me to totally bomb it so you can be all ‘I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better’?! No. I. Am. Not. Sitting. That. Fucking. Exam. And. You. Can’t. Make. Me.
Goddess help me I can’t deal with this.
I nearly broke down in front of half of 6th year, Mrs Fagan and Mr Kennedy when he told me this morning he wasn’t going to let me drop it.
My parents were on my side! They were okay with letting me drop it and now everyone’s saying no. Well they can’t make me. If I’m being made to do the subject I’ll fail the NABs. I won’t do the work. And I am NOT showing up for the exam. I’d rather have one less exam at the end of the day than an extra exam with ‘FAIL’ written next to it.
I want to cut so badly right now. Anything to stop the tears from falling again. Besides, tears look so much more pretty when they’re red. Don’t you think?
I am getting so annoyed at everyone. They’re all trying to make me do sociology. I hate it. I can’t stand the subject. That class has literally made me feel suicidal and I’ve sat there thinking of ways to die just to get out of there.
I really can’t deal with it and because I got 41% in the prelim they’re all trying to make me. I have Wilma or whatever her name is talking about how I can easily get a B and she’d be sad to lose me.
Mr. Kennedy is going on about how I’m the ‘ideal student’ for sociology. He even started telling me that I didn’t do as well as I could have last year and this is my chance to make up for it. Well I’m so sorry that I was so fucking depressed last year that I was sitting there cutting my arms and carving words into myself in an attempt to feel something other than numbness and anger and wanting to die so badly that I even made a noose out of ties and shoelaces. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t really find the focus. I passed the exams didn’t I? I got an A in Spanish and 2 C’s what’s wrong with that??
Mum keeps saying she thinks I should do it cause I was close to passing and it will be another pass on my SQA certificate.
Dad’s trying to fucking bribe me ‘£50 if you pass it’ ‘I’m not doing it. I hate it. I told you.’ ‘£55.’ Now he’s telling me that he won’t fix my UTP cable if I don’t do it. Great. So I have a choice now do I? Fail a subject that I hate with a burning, deep set passion and be able to walk or sit hunched over every night whilst studying or TeenHelping or whatever and be crippled before I’m 30. Wow. What an option.
They just don’t get that I CAN’T DO THE STUPID SUBJECT. I hate it. I honestly cannot deal with it and they’re trying to make me. The only thing that’s been stopping me from cutting over it is the thought that after the prelim I’d be able to drop it. Mrs Fagan said if I failed it I could drop it. Apparently I didn’t fail by enough. So what? You want me to totally bomb it so you can be all ‘I’m disappointed, I thought you could do better’?! No. I. Am. Not. Sitting. That. Fucking. Exam. And. You. Can’t. Make. Me.
Goddess help me I can’t deal with this.
I nearly broke down in front of half of 6th year, Mrs Fagan and Mr Kennedy when he told me this morning he wasn’t going to let me drop it.
My parents were on my side! They were okay with letting me drop it and now everyone’s saying no. Well they can’t make me. If I’m being made to do the subject I’ll fail the NABs. I won’t do the work. And I am NOT showing up for the exam. I’d rather have one less exam at the end of the day than an extra exam with ‘FAIL’ written next to it.
I want to cut so badly right now. Anything to stop the tears from falling again. Besides, tears look so much more pretty when they’re red. Don’t you think?
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