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"Oh that's nothing to worry about, you're just being a teenager!"

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Posted September 5th 2011 at 05:54 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Saw the CPN today. Feels like it was kind of pointless. Mum came with me and she'd typed out a list of stuff she wanted to talk about so that really helped. And she explained a lot of things for me which was also good. But apparently my almost obsessive habit of checking the contents of everything I eat and being able to see rolls of fat where apparently no one else can is just me being a normal teenager. In fact, just about everything I mentioned is me being a normal teen. She didn't listen, just brushed it off as normal teen stuff. Told me my BMI is right up at the top end of healthy. In other words, I'm dancing on the line of being overweight which is great.
In fact, in an hour and a half of putting down my barriers and telling her all the crap in my head the only things that weren't brushed off as "normal teen stuff" were the cutting and the paranoia. Which is apparently "real". Yay, something I have problems with is real.
She then got me to fill out a really awkward quiz thing which confused the Hell out of me and told me I was just reaching mildly depressed and she doesn't think I need to be on pills for that. Fair enough.
So now I'm sat waiting for a letter with an appointment to see an actual psychiatrist which will take around 8 weeks and I'm also on a 6-8 month waiting list to see a counsellor.
Wonderful.

It's all just making me want to cry. I feel like I went there and I told her all this stuff that was scaring and confusing me that I've never told anyone else before and she just patronised me saying I was being a teenager and telling me stupid stories about her daughter.

I then went to the Pharmacy because when I went to pick up more meds last week they gave me a week's worth and told me to come back on Tuesday, but it's easier to go in a day I have college instead of costing my dad more money for bus fares and stuff. But I'm not allowed any more until tomorrow and unless I want to trail up there every Tuesday when I really don't have any other reason to be there, I need to call my doctor and get her to call the pharmacy and tell them it's okay to give me the rest of the month's at the same time. Gawd.
All because one stupid doctor I've never even spoken to before decided, without actually asking me, that I should only get a week at a time.

Really not in a good mood. Feels like no one is listening to me or taking me seriously. Think I'm just going to get an early bed tonight. Really not in the mood for more crap from people.
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