Fun times.

Was effectively kicked out of college last week. Long story short: There's no way I could have got the work done in time since I found out on Monday that the deadline was Wednesday and early hours of Saturday morning was the earliest time I could have even been close to having it ready.
Still having nightmares every night. Keep dreaming about my family. About things going wrong at work. About things going wrong in general. My sleeping is terrible at night and I'm finding myself virtually unwakeable and then totally exhausted all day. Haven't told my parents yet. They just think I'm having some mental dreams and am lazy so spend a lot of time in bed.
Scaring myself. Thought about writing suicide notes today. Stared at the wall for ages and then realised my phone was ringing and telling me I had three messages. Answered them and cut. Parents want to make me come into the pool on holiday. It's only 3 weeks away so I can't cut my arms or legs. Blades are coming with me. I'll go in the pool a couple of times and then fake a period or something.
Just really hoping the nightmares will have gone by then. I'm so scared to go to sleep at night. When I do sleep it's only because I'm too exhausted to stay awake any longer.
Really want to overdose tonight. I want to do anything I can to be so deeply unconscious that I'm not even dreaming. I just need one night without the nightmares.