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Doctors, rainbows and crazy people.
Posted May 11th 2011 at 05:39 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
Saw the doctor again today. It was the same one who laughed at me last time when I tried explaining how cutting makes me feel better. Wasn't planning on telling her anything but she was actually really nice. Asked how my mood was and I said it was okay today. Told her the self harm thoughts were the same though and that I wasn't actively suicidal.
Explained how I'd been having really weird dreams with these pills. Keep dreaming about work and things going wrong, not exactly nightmares but they're really stressful because I think it's real at the time. Keep dreaming about my papa too but didn't mention that, I already know why that is. She said she thought it would be a good idea to up my dosage, (which will help these weird dreams, how?) see me again in 4 weeks and then see about referring me to psychiatry.
After messing with her computer for ages she got out a book and after a few minutes of looking through it said she couldn't up the dose because of my age. So she just sent in a referral for me to see a psychiatrist so they can assess me, talk about 'the reasons behind the depression' and they'll be able to up or change the meds if they think it's necessary.
I guess that makes sense. Thought I'd be able to go but then she started asking about whether I was in a relationship and if my boyfriend was supportive. I said SHE was and then got a lot of questions on "Have you ever been in a real relationship with boy?" "Do you ever have any feelings for boys or is it just girls?" "Has it always been this way?"
Because that obviously has SO much to do with why I was there to begin with.
Then she asked about whether I'd been abused as a child. Lied and said no because I still think it was normal. Told her I'd had some problems with an aunt last year but she just brushed that off and said as long as I was brought up okay, it was fine. (so you know, it doesn't matter if said aunt had tried to kill me or anything as long as my parents brought me up well.
)
I'm now waiting for a letter with an appointment to see the adult psychiatric team and am still on 20mg. I don't really know what the issue with this stuff is but the first time the box was pink. The second time it was white. Now it's purple. I'm seriously considering keeping all the empty boxes and making a rainbow out of them.
Also. Here's a gay llama for everyone's entertainment.
Explained how I'd been having really weird dreams with these pills. Keep dreaming about work and things going wrong, not exactly nightmares but they're really stressful because I think it's real at the time. Keep dreaming about my papa too but didn't mention that, I already know why that is. She said she thought it would be a good idea to up my dosage, (which will help these weird dreams, how?) see me again in 4 weeks and then see about referring me to psychiatry.
After messing with her computer for ages she got out a book and after a few minutes of looking through it said she couldn't up the dose because of my age. So she just sent in a referral for me to see a psychiatrist so they can assess me, talk about 'the reasons behind the depression' and they'll be able to up or change the meds if they think it's necessary.
I guess that makes sense. Thought I'd be able to go but then she started asking about whether I was in a relationship and if my boyfriend was supportive. I said SHE was and then got a lot of questions on "Have you ever been in a real relationship with boy?" "Do you ever have any feelings for boys or is it just girls?" "Has it always been this way?"
Because that obviously has SO much to do with why I was there to begin with.
Then she asked about whether I'd been abused as a child. Lied and said no because I still think it was normal. Told her I'd had some problems with an aunt last year but she just brushed that off and said as long as I was brought up okay, it was fine. (so you know, it doesn't matter if said aunt had tried to kill me or anything as long as my parents brought me up well.
)I'm now waiting for a letter with an appointment to see the adult psychiatric team and am still on 20mg. I don't really know what the issue with this stuff is but the first time the box was pink. The second time it was white. Now it's purple. I'm seriously considering keeping all the empty boxes and making a rainbow out of them.
Also. Here's a gay llama for everyone's entertainment.
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