Dreams. (trig - abuse?)
Posted May 1st 2011 at 03:23 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I keep having nightmares about my family. Friday night I dreamt I was at a family dinner when my dad's sister came up behind me and whispered that unless I told the family everything, she would. It'd be worse that way. I said something back to her that made perfect sense at the time but I don't even remember it now. I just know it was my way of standing up to her and saying "Hell no, you're not doing this to me again."
It still really scared me and I knew that what she wanted me to tell everyone was her baseless assumptions from last time. Prime example: Because I wasn't eating at school and was doubting religion, that meant I was saving up my lunch money to run away and join a cult.
I was really scared and upset when I woke up. Typically I was also so exhausted that it wasn't long before I unwillingly fell asleep again.
Last night I dreamt I was with my cousin. I don't remember exactly what was going on but she kept pushing me up against the wall and holding me there. She kept trying to punch me. I had my hands up in front of me and she was hitting them over and over but I couldn't move them down. She punched my arm, and although this does sound funny, I told her that she hit it so hard it hurt my boob. I walked out. Next thing I remember is her with her fists back on my hands pushing me back against the wall and glaring daggers at me.
It scared me. We never really got on, my cousin and I. I remember one week in music where something must have happened to get between us, but she was standing hard on my foot while digging her nail into my hand as hard as she could until I was crying out for her to stop. All because she wanted to know the name of the guy my friend liked. As if it was anything to do with her.
Later on that week, our music teacher came back into class to find her whacking me over the head with a cardboard music stand and me shouting at her to stop. This was because she had lifted a guitar up as if to hit me with it and I said she was just like her mother. (her mother being the one I mentioned in my dream at the top)
Things like that were pretty frequent with my cousin, though it had to be serious for it to turn physical. But we argued a lot and disagreed with me on about everything. But then there were moments when we'd be talking about something and both be laughing hysterically.
It was so strange.
I'm not sure why the dream scared me so much when it's been around 3 years since the music incidents and they were the last physical fights that I can remember. Well. If you can call it fight considering I was always too scared to hit her back.
I did tell my dad once that things like this had been going on. He talked to her mum who then told me off for telling tales on her perfect daughter. No wonder I felt like I never fit in on that side, they always seemed to be against me for one reason or another.
Meh. Think I'm going to talk to the doctor about the dreams, they're really bothering me lately. Hoping to see one this week or next. We'll see.
It still really scared me and I knew that what she wanted me to tell everyone was her baseless assumptions from last time. Prime example: Because I wasn't eating at school and was doubting religion, that meant I was saving up my lunch money to run away and join a cult.
I was really scared and upset when I woke up. Typically I was also so exhausted that it wasn't long before I unwillingly fell asleep again.
Last night I dreamt I was with my cousin. I don't remember exactly what was going on but she kept pushing me up against the wall and holding me there. She kept trying to punch me. I had my hands up in front of me and she was hitting them over and over but I couldn't move them down. She punched my arm, and although this does sound funny, I told her that she hit it so hard it hurt my boob. I walked out. Next thing I remember is her with her fists back on my hands pushing me back against the wall and glaring daggers at me.
It scared me. We never really got on, my cousin and I. I remember one week in music where something must have happened to get between us, but she was standing hard on my foot while digging her nail into my hand as hard as she could until I was crying out for her to stop. All because she wanted to know the name of the guy my friend liked. As if it was anything to do with her.
Later on that week, our music teacher came back into class to find her whacking me over the head with a cardboard music stand and me shouting at her to stop. This was because she had lifted a guitar up as if to hit me with it and I said she was just like her mother. (her mother being the one I mentioned in my dream at the top)
Things like that were pretty frequent with my cousin, though it had to be serious for it to turn physical. But we argued a lot and disagreed with me on about everything. But then there were moments when we'd be talking about something and both be laughing hysterically.
It was so strange.
I'm not sure why the dream scared me so much when it's been around 3 years since the music incidents and they were the last physical fights that I can remember. Well. If you can call it fight considering I was always too scared to hit her back.
I did tell my dad once that things like this had been going on. He talked to her mum who then told me off for telling tales on her perfect daughter. No wonder I felt like I never fit in on that side, they always seemed to be against me for one reason or another.
Meh. Think I'm going to talk to the doctor about the dreams, they're really bothering me lately. Hoping to see one this week or next. We'll see.
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