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Can't you see what our lies have come to be?
Posted April 14th 2011 at 12:51 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I have to go to my grandad's today. Brother and I are dropping off a card for my cousin's birthday. It's not that I don't want to go. Well it is. It's just that after everything that happened I don't feel comfortable around them, especially without my dad. And I'm still having nightmares about them. Dad told me that when everything was sorted out, the nightmares would go away. And they haven't. It's my cousins birthday and she's 19 today (WTF I remember her turning 11!) so I know that going to wish her a happy birthday is something I want to do.
I've forgotten to take those pills the past two nights. I fully intended to sort myself out and take them every night but it just hasn't been that easy. I know it's childish but these new ones are disgusting. After I take them, no matter how much I drink, all I can taste is a kind of burnt chlorine. It's horrible.
It's quarter to one. Mike said we should leave at half twelve because we were going to cycle to the park afterwards but I think he's still asleep.
I don't want to cycle anywhere. We took the bikes up to Asda yesterday. It only takes a few minutes but there's a small, pretty gently slope along the way. Okay it is actually a hill, but it's not vey steep. Eiher way, I found it really hard to get up it without being out of breath. Either I am SO much more unfit than I realised, or the weight I've lost since last summer has had an effect on me. I think I'm just unfit.
I'm still so tired. Considering going back to sleep. Just go to grandad's later and not bother with the park. This week has been so long, I just want it over with already. I want it to be Sunday.
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