TeenHelp
Get Advice Quick Ask Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Chat and Live Help Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Safety Zone
   Hotlines
   Alternatives
   Calendar


You are not registered or have not logged in
Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!) As a guest you can submit help requests, create and reply to Forum posts, join our Chat Room and read our range of articles & resources. By registering you will be able to get fully involved in our community and enjoy features such as connect with members worldwide, add friends & send messages, express yourself through a Blog, find others with similar interests in Social Groups, post pictures and links, set up a profile and more! Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!



Rate this Entry

Hmph. (trig)

Submit "Hmph. (trig)" to Digg Submit "Hmph. (trig)" to del.icio.us Submit "Hmph. (trig)" to StumbleUpon Submit "Hmph. (trig)" to Google
Posted March 22nd 2011 at 01:51 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck

Had a horrible night. Nightmares. Causing more family problems. Being attacked. Crying. Scared.
Got up. Gained weight since Thursday. I'm so angry with myself.
It's because of Saturday night. Because I ate this morning. Because I'm so stupid and far too dependant on food.
Hazel kept calling me "skinny" yesterday. "Wish I was as skinny as you." She has no idea what that even means. Just because I'm a little smaller than she is doesn't make me "skinny". I am so far from that it's not even on the horizon anymore.
I saw my arm when I woke up. I hated myself for it. Not because I cut it. Because I didn't cut it enough.
I'm working on Friday. And again on Sunday. I can get train tickets and then have money left to do whatever I like with. I'm enjoying that thought more than I should. This should scare me. It did last night. I realised that I can't help anyone if I'm a mess myself. This morning I realised that if cutting and destroying myself is what I need to stay alive and calm. Then I'll do it. It keeps me in a position to help. Even if I'm not helping much. If it keeps me alive, and maybe allows me to help other people. Then it's all worth it. I can sort myself out later.
Posted in Uncategorized
Views 214 Comments 1 Email Blog Entry
« Prev     Main     Next »

Total Comments 1

Comments

  1. Old Comment
    Palmolive's Avatar
    You can do this Nat. Stay strong. <3
    permalink
    Posted March 22nd 2011 at 02:28 PM by Palmolive Palmolive is offline
 
 
User Infomation
Your Avatar

Latest Articles & News
- by Halcyon
- by Rob

Advertisement



All material copyright ©1998-2024, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.