Hiding.

Sitting in the college library again. Hiding. Saw head of the dept. at reception this morning, she might have been asking them to call me to see if I was coming in.
The bus driver decided to drive past me this morning. I walked out of the bus shelter when he came up the hill and waited by the road for him to stop. He just stared at me and kept driving. Wow, thanks.
So I get to be late. I'm sat in the library because I'm nearly an hour late already and break is in 20 minutes. I'll go in after break.
It's so warm in here. Too hot. So sleepy. Can't take off my hoodie or everyone will see the cuts. This is so stupid. Why didn't I just cut my leg or something? What is my obsession with never being even close to satisfied unless it's on my arm or bleeds a lot?
I want to go home. I want to run. I need to get away from here. From this. The sooner I get my logbook done and can stop going to college and placement, the better.
Need to see my doctor this week. I'll run out of those pills on Friday. The ones that have done nothing so far unless they're the reason I feel worse.
Please understand, I don't want to die. I just want everything to stop.