Urgh.

Met with Shona and Ann this morning. Was a waste of time. Shona kept saying that I'm not well and need to get better before I can do another course at college. I told her I want to move to England to study psychology and got a lecture on how pointless that would be.
I've already decided I want to go. I need to get away. I need to live my own life the way I want to. I'm sick of taking the safe option. I want to take some risks and benefit from them. I really think I could do better when I'm taking a fresh start. It's only a two year course and I'd be able to go on and do a degree in psychology afterwards. I started looking for a job in England last night and got a call this morning from McDonald's. It's not exactly high on my list of places I'd want to work but it's better than nothing. I have to call the guy a few days before I go down next month to arrange an interview while I'm there.
The whole time I was with them both, all I could think about was cutting. As I was leaving Shona asked "Are you fine?" I just said yes. She has no idea what "fine" is with me. I bought a craft knife with at least 6 replacement blades. They're so sharp. I want to use them now. Not sure why I haven't yet. What is there to stop me?