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"You can't break what's already broken."
Posted March 4th 2011 at 10:49 AM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I just got back from placement. They sent me home after I almost passed out/threw up in the dining room while the residents were having breakfast. One of the dining ladies got Kerry. She told me to come to the staff room with her. Just shook my head. Everything was dark and I felt like I was dreaming. She stood me up anyway and took me. Felt so sick. Kept coughing. She told me my heart was racing and left me there. Sat for over an hour in the staff room before my supervisor drove me home.
My dad's home. He's mad that I'm missing placement and said maybe I wouldn't get sick if I ate regularly. Just because he didn't see me eat last night.
No, dad. The reason I got sick might actually have something to do with the fact that I'm so sick of everything I decided to overdose this morning. It feels like the more I'm struggling, the more my parents are getting upset with me. For stupid things. I know it's my own fault Kerry wouldn't let me stay at placement, but what if I really was sick? Being told off for it wouldn't make me feel any better. A little support would be nice. Now I feel more suicidal and want to take more pills, cut and go play in traffic. Don't have the energy to move that far. I came into my room and collapsed onto my bed. Haven't moved.
My doctor is only in on Tuesdays and Fridays. I thought about walking up and asking for an emergency appointment. But she'd make me go to a hospital. As much as I want to see her, it can wait. I'm not going to a hospital. Just have to try and get through the weekend first. With my dad.
Don't make me do this. Don't want to see him. Don't want to deal with anything. Just want to sleep and wake up in her arms again.
My dad's home. He's mad that I'm missing placement and said maybe I wouldn't get sick if I ate regularly. Just because he didn't see me eat last night.
No, dad. The reason I got sick might actually have something to do with the fact that I'm so sick of everything I decided to overdose this morning. It feels like the more I'm struggling, the more my parents are getting upset with me. For stupid things. I know it's my own fault Kerry wouldn't let me stay at placement, but what if I really was sick? Being told off for it wouldn't make me feel any better. A little support would be nice. Now I feel more suicidal and want to take more pills, cut and go play in traffic. Don't have the energy to move that far. I came into my room and collapsed onto my bed. Haven't moved.
My doctor is only in on Tuesdays and Fridays. I thought about walking up and asking for an emergency appointment. But she'd make me go to a hospital. As much as I want to see her, it can wait. I'm not going to a hospital. Just have to try and get through the weekend first. With my dad.
Don't make me do this. Don't want to see him. Don't want to deal with anything. Just want to sleep and wake up in her arms again.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Love you, I'm really sorry things are so hard. You can get through it though. I'm here for you every step of the way <3Posted March 4th 2011 at 07:58 PM by Nomophobia
