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Love? What love?
Posted July 20th 2010 at 10:38 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
There are some things you just don't want to talk about. Or know about. Or think about. Mostly because they hurt. Or because they hold bad memories and thoughts that will only lead to bad things.
Or maybe it's just due to bad experiences.
I mean, take love for example. I despise talking about it because to be honest, I don't really believe in it.
I mean, I know you can love your family and your friends, but when it comes to being IN LOVE with someone and being destined for them and all that stuff, I'm just not buying it.
I've seen people who love each other and they're cute. What bothers me is that these people at least have a concept of what love is supposed to be.
I have 3 friends who are in relationships just now, all three of them are girls. They all just love to come to me to complain when guys (and girls) try to hit on them. And they get annoyed by that.
Meanwhile I get to sit there wondering what is so wrong with me that I've never had that problem.
What's so wrong with me that I'm close to 18 and still haven't had a real relationship with someone I can see and trust and hold.
What's so wrong with me that I'm never noticed unless I have a gorgeous friend with me.
What's SO wrong that the ONE time someone showed any kind of interest it was when an idiot friend sent me a link to a sex chatroom (I thought it was a normal one) and a 30 year old man told me "Less football, more foreplay!"
The last is one I wish hadn't happened. Disgusting. Still haven't forgiven that friend.
I spend time in Live Help, online and with friends, reassuring them that sure, their love life isn't perfect, but they just haven't found the right person yet.
I don't believe that. I mean, I believe that they probably will at some point. But as for myself, I doubt it. I want to curl up and SH if someone so much as looks at me in the street.
It just feels now like everyone I know has a significant other and I'm the sad, pathetic odd-one-out, the black sheep, that offers advice where it's asked for when I know nothing about the topic to begin with.
As cute as it is to see people together and happy. It doesn't stop it hurting when they come to me and tell me what the other has said to them. That generally makes me want to curl up and cry. I have yet to figure out why this happens.
Is this it for me?
Living a sad, lonely life. Going home and reading and playing Harry Potter on the PlayStation and wishing there was something more to this?
If so, I'd rather just get out now thanks.
Or maybe it's just due to bad experiences.
I mean, take love for example. I despise talking about it because to be honest, I don't really believe in it.
I mean, I know you can love your family and your friends, but when it comes to being IN LOVE with someone and being destined for them and all that stuff, I'm just not buying it.
I've seen people who love each other and they're cute. What bothers me is that these people at least have a concept of what love is supposed to be.
I have 3 friends who are in relationships just now, all three of them are girls. They all just love to come to me to complain when guys (and girls) try to hit on them. And they get annoyed by that.
Meanwhile I get to sit there wondering what is so wrong with me that I've never had that problem.
What's so wrong with me that I'm close to 18 and still haven't had a real relationship with someone I can see and trust and hold.
What's so wrong with me that I'm never noticed unless I have a gorgeous friend with me.
What's SO wrong that the ONE time someone showed any kind of interest it was when an idiot friend sent me a link to a sex chatroom (I thought it was a normal one) and a 30 year old man told me "Less football, more foreplay!"
The last is one I wish hadn't happened. Disgusting. Still haven't forgiven that friend.
I spend time in Live Help, online and with friends, reassuring them that sure, their love life isn't perfect, but they just haven't found the right person yet.
I don't believe that. I mean, I believe that they probably will at some point. But as for myself, I doubt it. I want to curl up and SH if someone so much as looks at me in the street.
It just feels now like everyone I know has a significant other and I'm the sad, pathetic odd-one-out, the black sheep, that offers advice where it's asked for when I know nothing about the topic to begin with.
As cute as it is to see people together and happy. It doesn't stop it hurting when they come to me and tell me what the other has said to them. That generally makes me want to curl up and cry. I have yet to figure out why this happens.
Is this it for me?
Living a sad, lonely life. Going home and reading and playing Harry Potter on the PlayStation and wishing there was something more to this?
If so, I'd rather just get out now thanks.
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