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Don't you just LOVE being proved right? -_-
Posted July 15th 2010 at 04:31 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
Updated July 15th 2010 at 07:01 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
Updated July 15th 2010 at 07:01 PM by LlamaLlamaDuck
I knew I had good reasons not to trust anyone.
That voice in my head telling me that the ones who make me tell them everything are only doing so in order to use it against me later.
"No." I told that voice "If they were really just acting then they'd never tell me anything and they do!" Wow that just shows how wrong I was. Just...URGH there is so much I could just rant about now but no. I don't want to upset anyone. So I'll just keep pretending, as usual, that it's all fine and I'm not the least bit upset or frustrated with anyone. The ones who pretend they care and show that they so obviously don't. The hypocrites. The liars. All those people I thought I could trust.
Oh well.
For a long time I've been fighting with myself over whether or not to go back to my defensive state where I withdrew from everything and told no one anything more than what was necessary. Every day, the argument for this action gets stronger and the argument against it gets weaker. Because all the thoughts I assumed were just me being paranoid were all legitimate and all true.
Which then leads me to wonder if they were true, are all those little voices right? The ones that tell me I'm a burden to good people? The ones that tell me I'm being watched every minute of every day? The ones who do nothing but throw negative light on every aspect of my being and everything I do?
In that case, there's nothing really left for me to do but curl up in a ball and wait either for it to stop. Or for me to stop. We'll see who gives in first.
Place your bets.
That voice in my head telling me that the ones who make me tell them everything are only doing so in order to use it against me later.
"No." I told that voice "If they were really just acting then they'd never tell me anything and they do!" Wow that just shows how wrong I was. Just...URGH there is so much I could just rant about now but no. I don't want to upset anyone. So I'll just keep pretending, as usual, that it's all fine and I'm not the least bit upset or frustrated with anyone. The ones who pretend they care and show that they so obviously don't. The hypocrites. The liars. All those people I thought I could trust.
Oh well.
For a long time I've been fighting with myself over whether or not to go back to my defensive state where I withdrew from everything and told no one anything more than what was necessary. Every day, the argument for this action gets stronger and the argument against it gets weaker. Because all the thoughts I assumed were just me being paranoid were all legitimate and all true.
Which then leads me to wonder if they were true, are all those little voices right? The ones that tell me I'm a burden to good people? The ones that tell me I'm being watched every minute of every day? The ones who do nothing but throw negative light on every aspect of my being and everything I do?
In that case, there's nothing really left for me to do but curl up in a ball and wait either for it to stop. Or for me to stop. We'll see who gives in first.
Place your bets.
Total Comments 1
Comments
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I can add to the argument that those voices are wrong. True, some people are arseholes, but the thing is, that doesn't mean you should withdraw, since there's people who care about you Nat.
You can get through this, remember what I before.
Stay strong.Posted July 15th 2010 at 06:17 PM by Power Cosmic
