Day 2. Your first love

Hmm my first love huh? Well the first person I can say that I truly loved was my best friend Maddie. She was also the person that I loved the longest.

I honestly used to think that we would end up together. We would spend hours on the phone every day and night talking. And even when there was nothing to say we'd just laugh at our own little inside jokes.

There was no one that knew me better then her, no one that could make me smile when all I wanted to do scream; and there was no one that broke my heart as many times as she did.

With love comes pain, and working through that pain makes u a stronger person.

"I can't think of anything to say that I havn't said before.
Everything on my mind I've already expressed to you.
No matter what I try I just can't change these feelings.
No matter what I do you are the only one I can love.

So many song make me think of you,
make me grin like an idiot and brings tears to my eyes.
make me hear your voice in your head,
and see your face in my mind.

You are the most perfect person in this world,
when God created you,
he created perfection incarnate
The things that you consider flaws only add to your beauty.

When you laugh it seems like all the problems of the world fade away,
when i hear you smile everything feels right,
I want to see your smile all the time,
I want to make you laugh everyday.

You are the most unique person I've ever met,
you sacrifice everything you can for others,
You never think of how something will affect yourself,
You only think of how you can help others.

It amazes me to see you act this way,
This total selflessness,
Even if it puts you in harms way
You are always there for those you care about.

I sometimes wish you looked out for yourself more,
even tho I know thats not how you are.
I try to watch out for you,
but we both know how difficult that is.

I don't know what exactly made me fall for you,
but I do know that it changed me completely
I will never be as I was before,
You will forever be the center of my world.

I may try and change this fact but in the end I will always fail.
I can lie to myself and try and fall for another,
But the moment I hear your voice everyone but you disappears,
Anyone I try to put in your place vanishes and there is only you.

I will always be here for you,
even if you push me away,
I'll always be standing on the edges,
Arms open just in case you need me again.

I'm here, ready to catch you if you fall
and ready to wipe your tears away,
and I'm here to make you laugh until you cry,
And to remind you why your my best friend

You are the only person I've ever let get this close,
the only person I've ever truly opened up to.
You alone are the one person that could hurt me,
None but you can destroy me.

I've told you that I want your happiness above all else,
Sometimes I don't think you believe that completely.
I assure you that even if its not with me,
All I want is for you to be happy.

I could never be selfish enough to wish otherwise for you.
You deserve the best and more,
You deserve a life full of happiness and laughter.
And thus is my wish for you Madeline-hime"

That was a poem that I wrote a year and a half ago. At the time I truly believed that I would never get over her. I tried several times to go out with other girls and stop talking to Maddie for a long period of time. But when ever I talked to her or saw her, all those feelings kept rushing back. She said it was because I didn't want to get over her. And looking back that was true. Even though I didn't want to admit it to myself.

Eventually I did let myself move on. And I fell in love with this amazing girl named Becca. I guess what they say is true. You can never get over someone until you find someone else that you love more.