I feel lost, adrift in a sea of my own thoughts and emotions. Every day I feel a part of me slipping away. More and more I feel crushed beneath my growing cynicism. I do not even know why I am feeling this way or what triggered these feelings. I just do not know how to stop. Last night for the first time in a very long time, I thought about suicide again. I didn’t think about it in a depressed point of view. I didn’t feel like I was trapped and it was my only way out or anything like that. I just...

I've been having these dreams lately. I've had the same dreams for several years. Well not the same dream. But the same girl is in all of them. They had stopped for awhile. But they started again last night. She's always running up ahead of me, and then turning around and flashing me a teasing come find me smile. Nicky said it's prolly someone that I passed on the street or something. But I know its not. I would remember seeing her.

She is unmistakable. It's not her looks so much,...

I sit and stare at the blank wall, wondering what has become of me. Wondering how things have changed so much. I know change is a part of life, but it just seems that mine has changed so drasticly. Maybe its because of all I went through with Ashley. I logged onto my myspace tonight for the first time in months and I realized that I was no longer anywhere near how I used to be.

The changes are as glaring as they are astonishing. In a way I wish things hadn't changed as much as they...

I'm sitting here, not even knowing why I'm. This week is been the worst possible week I've ever had. And now becca and I broke up. I don't want to be done with her. But tbh its either gonna happen now or later. Not really a point in dragging it out.

I havn't hurt this much in a long time. It feels like I'm being sucker punched in the gut repeatedly. And being stabbed, can't forget the stabbing.

Right now I can't decide if I'm going to just lock everything up and not feel...

I dediced ot etirw siht golb ni esrever ot ees ohw dluow yllautca eb elba ot erugif it tuo. I tsuj leef dessip ffo tuoba os ynam sgniht thgir won. tuobA ym gnikcuf rac gnikaerb nwod dna gnivil 9 sruoh yawa morf ym dneirflrig. dnA eht tcaf taht ni 4 shtnom I lliw eb gnivom eciwt sa raf yawa morf reh. m'I dessip ffo taht snoemos taht I thguoht I detsurt si gniyrt ot tih no ym dneirflrig. I tsomla tnaw ot tsuj gnikcuf nur yawa dna evael enoyreve dniheb. dnA ma etiuq detpmet oot. tcafnI I yllorp dluow...

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*repeatidly punches doorframe*

that is all

I have a younger sister named Sarah. She is 2 and a half years younger then me and kind of a pain in the ass sometimes. She is going through that rebelling, I know everything there is to know about the world phase. And to be honest sometimes it makes me want to throw her through a door lmao. But even though she is annoying as hell I still love her. Not that I would ever tell her this, but I would do anything to protect her. We aren't really that close, but we do hang out and watch movies or w/e...

Today I was wearing a shirt that says, Maturity is overrated :P. fitting. and Shorts lol

As far as my religious beliefs go, Im a christian.

I believe that your friends are the most important people in your life. Love is the most powerful emotion next to anger/jealousy, and that without it, life is not worth living.

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