You Deserve to Live

Because you deserve to live
Because your life has value, whether or not you can see it
Because it was not your fault
Because you didn’t choose to be battered and used
Because life itself is precious,
Because you are connected to each and every other ritual abuse survivor, and so your daily battle automatically gives others hope and strength
Because you will feel better, eventually
Because each time you confront despair you get stronger you can’t know now what you will ultimately be able to do with this new morsel of strength, what future battles you will be able to win
Because if you die today you will never again feel love for another human being, or trust, or gratitude, because you will never again see kindness and compassion in another’s eyes.
Because if you die today you will never again see sunlight pouring through the leaves of a tree, or a bird take flight, or feel the quality of light in winter
Because the seconds do not cease their passing, because even if it feels like time has becomes and unbearably heave stone, it has not and you only have to endure Because you have already won, you have won the cleverness and resiliency and courage and stubborn will to make it this far, and no one can take that away. Because the will to live is not a cruel punishment, even if it feels like that at times it is a priceless gift
Because your inner children need you, they have no one else and their need is son great , and because they deserve more than anyone, to be healed and comforted; they are true heroes against impossible odds
Because you owe you inner children, they are the reason you are here. If you die today you will erase the meaning of their suffering and incredible endurance and that is too great a loss
Because you already have the skills to find your healing path, you have proven this over and over again
Because we need more warrior against this evil
Because we need survivors to offer testament against the horror and despair Because no one knows better than you the meaning of suffering and agony deepens the heart
Because you deserve the peace that will come after this battle is won, and it will be won, but only minute by minute, we must learn to let go of the unconquerable Because we can all come together in later years to laugh in their faces, because we will be able to show them that even though they had all the power and strength and ruthless cunning, even though we were only helpless, innocent dependent children, we will beaten them at the game they so smugly thought they had mastered
Because I am furious that we have to suffer the pain of another’s evil and filth Because you will one day feel fury
Because it is critical that you survive
Words by Mary Comings