Okay, the photo shoot went very well, aside from a few bumps!

First, it took us 5 hours in the woods and fields taking pictures. Way longer than I expected. Next, I lost my locket. That locket is precious to me and I wanted to cry when I realized it was gone. It could've been anywhere in those woods, or the field. We searched for over 30 minutes and finally went inside for a rest. Jon kept promising he would keep searching after I went home, that he'd search all day tomorrow...

Jon had better be ready for one hell of a photoshoot tomorrow. I'm making a little project.

I just recently managed to get the song I've desperately wanted for my iPod. I went through hell with it, though. With an iPod touch, you can't put your iPod songs onto your computer. There are programs you can download to make it work, but none of the sites are safe for downloads or the download won't work. I wasn't going to risk killing my laptop, it's seen enough trouble. I was up...

I'm sorry if this gets long...I just feel awful. I'm not really sure where this is coming from. I just feel a little down right now. I've been feeling like this off and on for some time, and it usually goes away after a few days, but then a week or two later my sadness will come back. I can't shake my insecurities. I've tried so hard, I really have. But it's so hard.

I had it literally beaten into me for years by everyone around me that I was just this hideous monster that nobody...

Yay, Easter! I'll have some fun drawing funny faces on all the Easter eggs, and I'll have more fun hiding the eggs from my little cousins in places so hard they'll go insane trying to find them.

Along with my aunt and uncle and cousins, Jon will be joining us for Easter. He'll be helping me watch and play with my little cousins. Poor guy will be dead by the end of the day. For Easter I got the kids bunny rabbit plushies, and mom got them chocolate. For Jon the big bear, I got a...

Yes, I've been doing a lot of sit-ups lately to try and get rid of the pudge I have in my belly. I've cut back a lot on sweets, but I can't resist some chocolate now and again. Anyway, I want to get a bit more in shape. Besides, most women usually lose some boob weight when they start really working out. It may make Jon sad, but my boobs are too big. Right now I can barely get into my prom dress from last year because my boobs have gotten bigger. It fits me, but if they...

Well, I looked online again and there still aren't any jobs in my little country town, but there are a lot of openings in the city about 35-40 minutes away. Mom was trying to make me get a job here, but I think she's finally realized that there are none. There are 16 openings at the Micheal's in town, so I'm going to give it a shot when we make our next trip to the city! I really hope I can get a job there. I hope I can get a job anywhere, actually.

Jon called me yesterday, he was...

Well, today was a bad day. Mom yelled at me a lot again. Things were finally peaceful, but it was only a short reprieve.

She yelled at me for so many things that were stupid, and not even my fault. I don't want to go into it too much. However, there was some good in my day. Jon stayed on the phone with me later than usual, and we reminisced about some things in our relationship. Strangely, we reminisced most about the time he was in the hospital. It was our hardest time together,...

Yep, I hate my life. The one and only thing keeping me going is Jon. Jon never fails to comfort and encourage me, but then mom comes in and tears down the walls of hope he helps me build.

She says I have no life, she says I'm not good enough, she says I'll fail if I try, she says I'm never going to be anybody.

I'm nobody. I'm useless. I'm stupid for dreaming.

You know why I love being with Jon? He's the only person in the world capable of comforting me...

This might not sound like a big deal to most people, but it is to me. As I've said on this site before, I love Japanese culture, art, architecture, animation, pretty much everything Japanese in general. Well, my aunt got me a bento box for Christmas. A bento box is like a Japanese lunchbox, but the contents can get pretty artistic. In Japan, bento lunches are either very simple, or very complex. Since I'm a beginner, I'm starting simple.

I'm making a special Japanese bento lunch for...

Yep, we've been planning it for a while, and finally it is coming together.

I'm going to live with my big sleepy bear, Jon. Things have gotten so much easier. Jon's mom suggested something we hadn't thought of before. Jon has an older brother who rents a small house. A 2 bedroom place, with affordable rent. We're talking to him about moving in with him. He's almost never home so we'd have privacy, the unused room is huge so there's plenty of room for my things and Jon's, and we...