I'm so tired of this...

Okay, I'm in a bad mood now. As usual, it's all thanks to mother.

So tonight, I finally got around to getting my traditional Japanese wooden shoes (geta) out of my closet, along with the matching Japanese socks. I put them on, and then I put on the kimono dress Jon bought me. No pants, just the dress, which cuts off just above the knee. Jon has been asking me to try it and see how it looks with the traditional shoes and socks, and I thought it was cute. I went to my mom's room to show her. I walked in, and she looked at me, then immediately burst out laughing. I told her she didn't have to be so rude about it, she could just say she didn't like it, but no. She just laughed harder. She went on and on, saying to never go out in public wearing that because it looked ridiculous. She even said it looked like a dress for a little kid because of the lace and ruffles near the bottom. I got very upset, especially since Jon bought me this for our anniversary and I think it's very beautiful.

She doesn't even believe me when I say it's a modern kimono. She laughs and says it's not a kimono, just because it doesn't go all the way to the floor and look exactly like a traditional kimono. I'm the one who goes to anime conventions every year because I love Japan so damn much. I'm the one that has been studying Japanese culture for the last 9 years. I'm the one learning to speak Japanese. I'm the one who dreams of visiting Japan one day! As much as I have studied about Japan, I think I know what a modern kimono dress looks like! But no, she thinks I'm just calling it that because that's what I want it to be. She says I just call it that because of the long sleeves. Really? The thing has the long kimono sleeves, it has the traditional kimono patterns, it closes and is held shut by a tight wrap around your middle, just like a kimono. The only difference is a little lace has been added, and it's been cut shorter than a traditional kimono. And that's because it is a MODERN style dress, not traditional.

She always goes on and on about how I need to dress like a girl and wear dresses and look nice more often. I finally try, and oh, too fucking bad. I look horrible. Try again. After a good 10 minutes of listening to her laugh and insult me, I finally told her she didn't have to be so rude about it and I was tired of hearing her laugh. And do you know what she said? She just made me feel awful. I felt ugly. She said "Hey, at least I'm honest enough to tell you not to go out in public like that because you look stupid in it!"

Thank you, mother. Thank you so much. You just make me feel so good about myself. And poor Jon! He was the one who bought it because he saw how much I liked it. He wanted to do something nice for me, and mom thinks it looks stupid.

Look, I know I'm not exactly pretty. I can name tons of things about my appearance I don't like. But I really thought I looked good in that dress. And Jon felt the same way...I know I'm just being insecure because of what mom said, but a small part of me keeps wanting to think, "What if he just said I looked nice to make me feel good? What if I do look dumb?"

In case anyone is curious, this is what the dress looks like. It's a modern style kimono dress, they're very popular in Japan. I've seen them online, and they usually go for anywhere between $250-$500. That dress was one hell of a deal for $50. Sorry for the big photo size, by the way. :/

Oh, and if it's not too much to ask...I would like some opinions on the dress. Is it pretty? Is it ugly? Is it so-so? And please, be honest. Tell me what you really think of the dress.