Support

Ugh. My computer is messing up even worse now. I can't access deviantart anymore, which was very important. It's more than a place for me to look at artwork, I get some good inspiration from there, along with a few ideas for some references for practice.

Practice. Ugh...practicing is tough without some anatomy visuals. I'm about to strangle my anatomy models, I swear. "Can take any pose the human body takes" my ass. They're helpful, but only to an extent. At this rate I'm going to have to go back to my last resort...getting out my tripod, setting my camera, and posing myself in my underwear.

Nobody really knows just how badly I want to go to art school. The problem is I feel like I've reached the limits of my potential. There's this one artist in particular who I won't name, but she lives in the UK and I've watched her work since I first started drawing, which was back in elementary. Honestly, I'm jealous of her. I love her artwork, and she's way more beautiful than I'll ever be. She got to go to art school in London, and got opportunities to do some backgrounds for some BBC kid shows. Her art was recognized by quite a few big companies, and now she's travelling with her art. Her school gave her amazing opportunities to travel. She's gone to Switzerland, Ireland, France, all over. She's so lucky. I've watched her art progress into some incredible stuff over the years, but my art is nothing. I practiced for hours every day over the years, so why did her art become so good while mine hasn't progressed much?

Thank god for Jon. He's been so patient with me, I've been in a real depression about all this lately. I even snapped at him a few times when he was just trying to help. But he understood, and just sternly but gently said to calm down. He insists that my work is amazing and that I can make it better. He supports me endlessly, and says that I really do have the potential to make it in the art world if I keep honing my skills. I've been practicing all evening. I started losing faith in what I was drawing, though. I started getting depressed again. So, I had an idea that's actually helped a little. My sketchbook has a small secret pouch on the back inside cover. I got some photo paper and printed a picture of him that I recently took. On the back I took a sharpie and wrote "Remember that he will always support you." I put it in the pouch so I can look at it and be reminded of his support when I need it.