Whee, I'm gonna make a journal up here!
I feel kinda bad about this.
Tags jon, nightmares, scared, seizures, worried
I gave Jon nightmares because of something I did at the wedding. I didn't realize I'd worried him that much. He's been so shaken up ever since I had those seizures, he can't take his eyes off me. He never lets me wander off alone, just in case.
At the reception hall yesterday there were tons of people, which makes me extremely nervous. Every once in a while I'd want to go for a walk outside, around the building. At one point I went out, but I forgot to tell Jon. I was already out there, and I figured he'd know where I went. I walked to the other side of the building and his grandpa was there. I stood and talked to him for a little while, and when I heard a song come on that I like very much I went inside...just as he was going out to find me. When I didn't see him after looking around, I went outside as he was coming in the other door! He finally found me and had a huge look of relief on his face. He hugged me pretty tight, and said he was worried I'd had a seizure somewhere or something.
This morning he told me about the dream he had. He said that I had just suddenly disappeared. He asked his parents where I was, and they said "Who's Haru?" When he said I was his girlfriend, they told him he didn't have a girlfriend and tried to make him lie down. He ran to his room to get the pictures of me to show them as proof, but they were gone, including everything I've given him. He ran all the way to my house, and when he got there my parents told him they didn't have a daughter. He sat down on the porch trying to figure out what was happening and where I'd gone, when he suddenly felt like he needed to go to his neighbor's house. He got there, and there I was. He said he started crying and hugged me, going on and on about how he'd looked all over for me, and he was so worried, and he loved me so much. That's when the dream ended. I can't believe I actually scared him that bad yesterday. I knew he was protective, but...wow. I feel bad about it, I should've told him where I was going. Honestly, I didn't tell him I was going out mostly because I knew he was exhausted and wanted to rest. I didn't want him pushing himself further than he already had, and if I'd told him where I was going I know he would've followed me. I was trying to think of him first, but I messed up.
At the reception hall yesterday there were tons of people, which makes me extremely nervous. Every once in a while I'd want to go for a walk outside, around the building. At one point I went out, but I forgot to tell Jon. I was already out there, and I figured he'd know where I went. I walked to the other side of the building and his grandpa was there. I stood and talked to him for a little while, and when I heard a song come on that I like very much I went inside...just as he was going out to find me. When I didn't see him after looking around, I went outside as he was coming in the other door! He finally found me and had a huge look of relief on his face. He hugged me pretty tight, and said he was worried I'd had a seizure somewhere or something.
This morning he told me about the dream he had. He said that I had just suddenly disappeared. He asked his parents where I was, and they said "Who's Haru?" When he said I was his girlfriend, they told him he didn't have a girlfriend and tried to make him lie down. He ran to his room to get the pictures of me to show them as proof, but they were gone, including everything I've given him. He ran all the way to my house, and when he got there my parents told him they didn't have a daughter. He sat down on the porch trying to figure out what was happening and where I'd gone, when he suddenly felt like he needed to go to his neighbor's house. He got there, and there I was. He said he started crying and hugged me, going on and on about how he'd looked all over for me, and he was so worried, and he loved me so much. That's when the dream ended. I can't believe I actually scared him that bad yesterday. I knew he was protective, but...wow. I feel bad about it, I should've told him where I was going. Honestly, I didn't tell him I was going out mostly because I knew he was exhausted and wanted to rest. I didn't want him pushing himself further than he already had, and if I'd told him where I was going I know he would've followed me. I was trying to think of him first, but I messed up.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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Posted June 24th 2012 at 05:21 PM by Everglow. -
Awww I've always known Jon was a sweetie pie & how he acted and his dream just proved it. <3
People get worried about others, especially ones we love. I know you feel bad about it but don't be too hard on yourself. You didn't do it to upset him, so honestly, forgive yourself for worrying him.
It's all really recent to him, so it's going to be a little scary. Give it some time & it'll get better, trust me.
Posted June 28th 2012 at 07:52 PM by Hollifire