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The Nothingness Inside of Us [Possibly triggering]
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Posted September 15th 2017 at 01:58 AM by itzz.casper
Updated September 15th 2017 at 02:12 AM by hocus pocus (Adding trigger warning.)
Updated September 15th 2017 at 02:12 AM by hocus pocus (Adding trigger warning.)
When I see the red dripping on my wrist,
When I feel the cold metal on the back of my head
When I feel the flame on my legs and feet,
I'm thinking of getting lost with the nothingness inside of me.
Sometimes I wonder,
If anyone will miss me when I'm six feet under.
Will anyone care if I'm buried under the soil?
Will anyone find the notes I keep hidden?
Sometimes I wanna get lost with the nothingness inside of me.
Screaming at the ones I love,
Forgetting on who I can trust,
Questioning if I feel safe,
Wondering if anyone sees me.
Shaking.Crying.Trembling.Fearing, all hiding under a smile.
They don't see the nothingness inside of me
Random people leaving saying that was good,
Random shirts being found in the bedroom,
Random warmth against my skin,
Random moans, is it coming from me or that one girl?
Feeling loved.
Feeling wanted.
He feels the nothingness inside of him.
Cream is smeared,
Lines being perfected, while threading the last brow
Coating the last lash
Adding the last bit of liner,
Blowing off the little bit of shadow,
Adding the last bit of polish,
She feels pretty.
She likes the nothingness inside of her.
Feeling brave,
She is feeling ready,
¨Hey can you come meet me somewhere, I have to tell you all something¨
As she clicks send,
¨You shouldn't have done that. They won't except you anymore¨, the voice inside of her speaks once more
They all meet,at the rock.
¨Hey guys, thanks for coming. Um. I don't want to be a she. I want to be a he. And I want to only date men as a he……….¨
His friends laughed at first. Then stopped, Got up said 'you are a freak and a loser and we are not your friends no more.' While they left, he hears his voices again, while he cries.
He fears the nothingness inside of him.
All I loved, became everything I lost.
Trying not to think about them but it's not work
Their voices, continues to wrap around my thoughts.
¨Stop being a bitch.Fat.Ugly.Whore.Slut.Crazy.Dumb.Not-worthy.Attention Whore.Stupid.Nothing¨
I live my life, in a wall. I keep my wall up, so I don't hurt.
I long for love, so I don't hurt.
I hurt, so I can feel.
I cry, so I can smile.
Scars and bruises, hidden. So the ones that want to love me, don't see
Uh-oh I am forgotten, in my nothingness
When I feel the cold metal on the back of my head
When I feel the flame on my legs and feet,
I'm thinking of getting lost with the nothingness inside of me.
Sometimes I wonder,
If anyone will miss me when I'm six feet under.
Will anyone care if I'm buried under the soil?
Will anyone find the notes I keep hidden?
Sometimes I wanna get lost with the nothingness inside of me.
Screaming at the ones I love,
Forgetting on who I can trust,
Questioning if I feel safe,
Wondering if anyone sees me.
Shaking.Crying.Trembling.Fearing, all hiding under a smile.
They don't see the nothingness inside of me
Random people leaving saying that was good,
Random shirts being found in the bedroom,
Random warmth against my skin,
Random moans, is it coming from me or that one girl?
Feeling loved.
Feeling wanted.
He feels the nothingness inside of him.
Cream is smeared,
Lines being perfected, while threading the last brow
Coating the last lash
Adding the last bit of liner,
Blowing off the little bit of shadow,
Adding the last bit of polish,
She feels pretty.
She likes the nothingness inside of her.
Feeling brave,
She is feeling ready,
¨Hey can you come meet me somewhere, I have to tell you all something¨
As she clicks send,
¨You shouldn't have done that. They won't except you anymore¨, the voice inside of her speaks once more
They all meet,at the rock.
¨Hey guys, thanks for coming. Um. I don't want to be a she. I want to be a he. And I want to only date men as a he……….¨
His friends laughed at first. Then stopped, Got up said 'you are a freak and a loser and we are not your friends no more.' While they left, he hears his voices again, while he cries.
He fears the nothingness inside of him.
All I loved, became everything I lost.
Trying not to think about them but it's not work
Their voices, continues to wrap around my thoughts.
¨Stop being a bitch.Fat.Ugly.Whore.Slut.Crazy.Dumb.Not-worthy.Attention Whore.Stupid.Nothing¨
I live my life, in a wall. I keep my wall up, so I don't hurt.
I long for love, so I don't hurt.
I hurt, so I can feel.
I cry, so I can smile.
Scars and bruises, hidden. So the ones that want to love me, don't see
Uh-oh I am forgotten, in my nothingness
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