*Trig*

I cut again last night... My family doesn't care about me. I feel like I am never accepted anywhere I go. I am not even accepted in my own house. Maybe I should just kill myself. I'd rather me kill myself than let someone else...That makes no sense...But everyone is "killing" me. On the inside and out. Last night my father told me I was stupid, a waste of air, and I am worthless. I thought your parents were supposed to love you unconditionally...I guess not. No one loves me. I don't even love myself. I hate it when people make stereotypes about people who kill themselves. We aren't crazy. We feel like we don't belong. We feel like there is no other reason to live. And sometimes there is no reason to live. Right now I am fighting the urge to kill myself...I could slit my wrists, overdose on pain meds, I could overdose on my anti-depressants. But I am fighting so hard not to, and I am not winning. I am not brave anymore. They took my bravery and stomped on it. I used to be brave. The bravest thing I have done is not kill myself. Because living here is scary enough. I wonder why I stay. Then I think of my little brother and sister. They need me. But I don't know what to do anymore. What will they do if I kill myself? Will they understand? They know about the cutting. My little brother asked me what they were from. I told him I got them from a war. He asked what war. I said the one inside. He asked why I was in a war. I told him I was fighting for happiness, love, and life. He told me to never go into war again because he didn't like the scars. I told him I cant promise him that but I'd try my best. I guess he understood because he told me to never leave him. I asked what he meant and he said he doesn't want me to die. I cried so hard that night. My little brother doesn't want me to die, but I have nothing else to live for except him. I know he loves me. I love him to death. But I cant go on any longer with this pain...I tried to kill myself last night but I couldn't go through with it.....I am sorry..I am not worth it...