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Well, I think I've almost decided on what I'm doing when Sam moves out. I think I'll stay here on my own. That way, I don't have to worry about anybody else's financial situation, and my own financial situation won't affect anybody else. I think it's wise.

I texted Leisa last night. I'm not entirely sure what the motivation was. It felt really weird to be talking to somebody outside of their working hours, and it was a massive leap outside of my comfort zone. I think I prefer to stay...

Well, I went to the gym both yesterday and today. Legs day, arms day, if I go tomorrow, it will be abs day. But, tomorrow Leisa invited me to the CLS game thingummy up at the Gardens and I said I'd go (could be fun), my flatmate gets home from respite tomorrow (yay for a short stay), and I want to give blood tomorrow afternoon which involves magicking myself to middlemore hospital before 2:00pm.

I'm a little worried about my state of mind. I was just looking at the objects to the...

Well, technically today was Labour Day, but as I have no work to be absent from, it was just another Monday. Except Dad and Lyn invited us to catch the train into town with them, so we did that, and had lunch at Britomart. It was a good way to kill most of the day, far better than the lengths we had to resort to in the rain yesterday.

I washed my sheets - finally - I haven't changed my sheets for a couple of months, but because we only recently got our washing machine functioning...

I got home yesterday afternoon around 3pm. I'm back on my meds. I slept really well, only woke up twice, and only one nightmare. An improvement on the rest of the week, to be sure.

There's one thing that's bothering me though. My flatmate has been told that in a month, she's being put into supported accomodation. That means that I have to decide whether I want to stay here on my own (and pay more rent, although WINZ will help with that), or get a new flatmate and remain at my current...

I'm going to respite on Kolmar Road this afternoon. I've never been there before. I don't know what to expect. Is this too little too late? Am I doing the right thing? Will I be able to behave? Will I end up in hospital again? Will it help? Will I feel better? It's a massive pile of I don't know.

Phones are freaking me out. I was good and attended my supervision appointment though. Caleb was nice to me. I like people who are nice to me. Sometimes it makes things a lot harder but I'd...

I went to see my keyworker, which is probably the smartest decision I've made in days.

I still feel awful and horrible but now it's just the depression doing its . . . thang.

Jens said he saw my whiteboard. He said it was good. I don't know what he meant by "good". Maybe it explained well. Maybe it made sense. I don't know. But I suppose it's positive if a doctor sees your messy-thoughts whiteboard and describes it as "good".

Because...

Yeah, still there.

Land lady came over. Said she's going to have to give me a written warning, and if it happens again I'm out. It's not happening again. I'm just glad I still have a place to stay.

I just have to wait and see what mental health says I guess.

At least the land lady was fair. She didn't yell at me, she didn't beat around the bush, she just said it like it is. So I've sent Mum another e-mail to explain that I still have a place to stay....

I have a minute amount of glass in my pinky finger. Too small for me to get out, so hopefully it will go away on its own.

I spent most of today walking. I consumed a lot of water, a cup of tea, and a banana. I cleared up the carnage. I walked more. Trish yelled at me and made me feel even worse. Trish isn't even one of my workers, she's one of Sam's, and I don't think she had the right to swear at me, no matter what happened.

The landlord isn't happy. Trish said "we're...

Just got out of bed, have to post this now.

Last night I lit a fire in our recycling bin. Excellent to watch. Needless to say, the bin is no more. My flatmate called the fire service, the police, the crisis team, and Leisa.

The police said if they were called back I would be arrested for reckless endangerment but at that time they weren't going to do anything. The fire service said that at least there was nothing malicious about the fire - as in, I wasn't trying to...